“Did you see what was on his Snapchat?” Social media has become the realm of connecting, sharing and interacting with others. Media outlets such as Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Tinder has allowed us to stay in touch with family, friends and new friends. We use social media as a window to allow others a glimpse into our personal lives. The use of social media has increased tremendously over the decade. I like many users post, share and tweet my opinion and views daily, sometimes hourly. I admit that I am addicted to my social media accounts. I check my Facebook to see how family is doing or share funny memes; I view my likes on Instagram and I tweet and retweet my personal thoughts daily on Twitter. The point is, I like many other users am
Ironically enough, I met my boyfriend through social media. We knew of each other because we attend the same university and have mutual friends. However, our interaction began through social media. A simple direct message sparked a friendship that later turned into a relationship. We like any other relationship had our “honeymoon” stage, but things can get tricky when that stage is over. Our biggest fight was due to social media. But what about social media caused this fight?
We let social media become the center of everything, good and bad. I post everything on social media. Many of my friends can guess my mood based on the posts I share or tweet. Don’t get me wrong we are all kind of guilty of showing our emotions through social media one way or another. However, over-sharing can let others know too much about what is suppose to stay behind closed doors.
With that said, since my boyfriend and I post, like and share tweets on Instagram and Twitter. A friend wearing a cute shirt or sharing a deep thought is going to get a like from me. Why? Because I support them and want to show them some appreciation. But sometimes we can misinterpret this appreciation as flirting which can cause insecurity within the relationship.
Let’s say you’re not even on your social media accounts like your friends. However, your friends inform you your boyfriend likes so and so’s picture. That right there may lead your mind to wonder what else is going on. When it is probably nothing!
But then you begin to become curious as to who this person is based on a like from your boyfriend. Then you dig deeper, reading way to much into the act without understanding the context and overanalyzing ever little thing their doing.
Instead of being happy you start to become insecure about the relationship. You send screen shots questioning their actions. You begin to set social media rules and regulations. In setting these restrictions you can lose yourself and the purity of the relationship.
This only leads to a controlling and manipulative relationship. How can one be themselves if they have to follow the guideline and walk on their tippy toes around there boyfriend/ girlfriend? Trust them. My boyfriend is really good looking. He’s charming, tall, dark and handsome (the complete package, right?) And girls will message him. It bothers me but what makes me feel better is what he does with it. He doesn’t respond. Not because I don't want him to but because he respects our relationship and doesn't want to. This respect comes from having open conversations about the way we feel.
The solution? Stay off social media for a bit and see how it impacts your relationship. Because you can always get back on your phone when you’re not together. Don’t be over consumed by your phone and thus allowing it to become a factor in your relationship. Because people will find a way to cheat if they want to whether it be through social media or not. I am guilty of over thinking, over analyzing and misinterpreting. Our relationship is new and over time it's going to grow. But in order for us to do so, we cannot let social media get the best of us. Instead just have a conversation. Ask them about certain things if there is something bothering you. Don’t make them feel like you're attacking them by coming off accusatory or aggressive. Do it when your calm. Don’t let temporary emotions make a permanent impact on your relationship.
