I have rewritten this article three times. We're not surprised. I tend to do that a lot.
It's frustrating, though. It's annoying to have an idea and never be able to finish it.
Unlike my younger self, my brain does not regenerate and have new ideas every hour; in fact, I'm lucky if I have a new idea every day, every week.
It's become such a burden, that I have to write in blocks of days because I know that the inspiration will not last long. I know that I'll have an idea tomorrow, and that train will leave the station with the conductor screaming, unknowing of where to go and what to do.
I'm sitting at the desk at work, today, writing this article about not knowing what to write, feeling like every word that I'm typing on this screen is complete and utter nonsense.
It's so annoying.
I don't really know how to fix it either. It's like, do you wait for writer's block to sort itself out, or is there a way to get rid of the army standing in the way of the creative space in my brain and the ability to write out my thoughts. I would love to have the option to write something, but instead, I'm writing random words on the keyboard and hoping that they make sense.
I'm wondering, what can I talk about, today?
Again, I have no idea.
Here are a few thoughts going around in my head that I think could make good talking points.
- Kait, my best friend, comes to Orlando in one week.
- I see Shawn Mendes next Tuesday with my best friend.
- I have two papers due within one week of each other and I have not started either of them.
- I have two semesters left of college and I feel totally unprepared to be in the real world.
- I am completely, entirely, not ready to be an adult.
- I want to move to Los Angeles in a year and I don't have a job there.
- I applied to two jobs, and I need to apply to four more before the end of the month.
- I will have a breakdown if I don't work in the music industry but I don't know what job I want in the music industry.
- Can I go one day without taking a nap? One day. That's it.
- How is it that I can sleep a generally normal amount of hours with or without a nap?
- I want to watch the new season of Queer Eye.
- I need to stop watching Parks and Recreation so much but it's honestly my favorite show and nothing makes me laugh as much.
- Why are they restarting Gossip Girl?
- Who thought that the scripts for Gossip Girl were good?
- Why did I think that the acting in Disney Channel shows was good?
- Who wrote Hannah Montana and why did Lily look like an anime character?
- Why do I only find boys with brown hair and light eyes attractive? It's literally all boys with brown hair and light eyes that catch my attention. It's honestly annoying.
- How do I become a better artist because, right now, everything I paint is highly disappointing.
- I want to know why we have out of body experiences. Is our brain trying to tell us something or are we just disassociating with ourselves to try and give our minds a break from the stresses and anxieties that are weighing us down?
- Are all of these thoughts that I'm having about failing a prediction or anxiety?
Obviously I have a lot of things going on in my mind but none of them make sense to write an article about.
One day I'll be able to write an article in one sitting, without rewriting it a million times, without second guessing the topic and being unsure about if I'm making the right decisions or not.
Concluding all of these thoughts and spills of emotions that tend to not make sense as a list or an article altogether, as I've said, these are simply ideas and not one complete train of thought, today is not that day.
