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I Don't Know

I have no clue what I'm doing and I'm OK with that.

Maddie Girts

May 23, 2016

Shawnee State University

370

google images

Ask me a question. Anything, just ask it. Before you even ask it, I’ll tell you my answer…I don't know. I’m not being indecisive (OK, maybe a little bit), or trying to be that “cutesy dumb girl” twirling my hair saying it. I legitimately just don't know.

"I don’t know" is the best answer I have at this point in my life. I’m 20 years old; I can only handle one decision at a time right now. And most of the time its “what should I eat for dinner?” Or, “what should I wear to go out in tonight?” And even then, I don’t know. Should I make Ramen for the fourth night this week? Or go get Burger King chicken nuggets and treat myself? I don't know. Should I even go out tonight? Should I wear jeans or leggings? I have literally no clue. Study or just finish this season of "Gilmore Girls" on Netflix? That is sometimes my hardest choice of the week.

So when you ask me where I want to be in five years…I have no idea. I’m just hoping I’m not completely poor and have finally graduated college. What do I want to do for the rest of my life? I don't even know how to answer that. In theory, In theory I want to own seven dogs and earn a doctor's salary to decorate Christmas trees for a living. I’ve changed my major more times than I remember so I could be anything from an elementary school teacher, to an accountant, to a nurse. Who knows? Not me.

So when you ask me a question, and I answer “I don't know,” you have to take that as a real answer. I’m young, I’m still allowed to not have a clue about things. I’m still learning about myself and what kinds of things I love and hate about life on this Earth. I don't have to know my everyday schedule quite yet. I can roll with what happens and pick and choose what I feel like doing today. Sleep until 2, and then watch Netflix? Sure. Wake up at 8 a.m., clean the house, learn German, and in bed by 10 p.m.? Maybe. I can choose how my day goes, how my week or month goes. I can do what I want, and I don’t owe a real answer to anyone except myself. So deal with my “I don’t know.”

I don’t know is my answer and I’m totally OK with that. I’ll figure my shit out eventually.

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I Don't Know

I have no clue what I'm doing and I'm OK with that.

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AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

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1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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