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I Don't Know

I have no clue what I'm doing and I'm OK with that.

Maddie Girts

May 23, 2016

Shawnee State University

370

google images

Ask me a question. Anything, just ask it. Before you even ask it, I’ll tell you my answer…I don't know. I’m not being indecisive (OK, maybe a little bit), or trying to be that “cutesy dumb girl” twirling my hair saying it. I legitimately just don't know.

"I don’t know" is the best answer I have at this point in my life. I’m 20 years old; I can only handle one decision at a time right now. And most of the time its “what should I eat for dinner?” Or, “what should I wear to go out in tonight?” And even then, I don’t know. Should I make Ramen for the fourth night this week? Or go get Burger King chicken nuggets and treat myself? I don't know. Should I even go out tonight? Should I wear jeans or leggings? I have literally no clue. Study or just finish this season of "Gilmore Girls" on Netflix? That is sometimes my hardest choice of the week.

So when you ask me where I want to be in five years…I have no idea. I’m just hoping I’m not completely poor and have finally graduated college. What do I want to do for the rest of my life? I don't even know how to answer that. In theory, In theory I want to own seven dogs and earn a doctor's salary to decorate Christmas trees for a living. I’ve changed my major more times than I remember so I could be anything from an elementary school teacher, to an accountant, to a nurse. Who knows? Not me.

So when you ask me a question, and I answer “I don't know,” you have to take that as a real answer. I’m young, I’m still allowed to not have a clue about things. I’m still learning about myself and what kinds of things I love and hate about life on this Earth. I don't have to know my everyday schedule quite yet. I can roll with what happens and pick and choose what I feel like doing today. Sleep until 2, and then watch Netflix? Sure. Wake up at 8 a.m., clean the house, learn German, and in bed by 10 p.m.? Maybe. I can choose how my day goes, how my week or month goes. I can do what I want, and I don’t owe a real answer to anyone except myself. So deal with my “I don’t know.”

I don’t know is my answer and I’m totally OK with that. I’ll figure my shit out eventually.

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I Don't Know

I have no clue what I'm doing and I'm OK with that.

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

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