Family seems to be the most important aspect in everyone’s lives. “Family is everything”, “Family is all I need” are just a few things I’ve always heard from friends and others around me.

I disagree.

Growing up, I’ve never been the most liked when it comes to families. I was always the one who was the joke of the family, the one everyone would make fun of and tease. I couldn’t tell you how many times I would run to my mother with tears down my face, upset about things my cousins would say to me or how I was always excluded from activities. I would always be told to stop whining and crying and to just get over it.

Many years later, things never changed.

My grandma just passed away recently, and when my mom informed me about the funeral and how all my cousins would be there, I did not want to go. Sure it’s been years since I last saw them and we have all grown up, but the memories were still there. I tried to be positive, hoping that puberty and adulating may have changed things, that we can all be more mature about family gatherings. This wasn’t the case. It was like nothing had changed, and in spite of my grandma’s departure, I was still picked on by my relatives. Sure I took it with a grain of salt, but at our age, it’s getting old.

When it was time to say “goodbyes” and “see you soons”, I was so relieved to get out of the spotlight and be on my own. It was hard enough saying goodbye to my grandmother, but being picked on about my personal life didn’t help. It was like being kicked when you are already down. As if being picked on throughout high school wasn’t enough, my family, the people that should be there and support me and love me, were doing the exact same thing.

So I say this with full honesty: don’t invite me to family gatherings, because I know where this will go every time, and clearly my family doesn’t think it’s an issue -- which is hurtful. They would rather point out my flaws and laugh in my face than support and love me like families should.

This past family gathering has opened my eyes and shown me how much I don’t need them in my lives, and that no matter what I do with my life, they will just poke fun at me and tear me down without really realizing it. They may think it’s all fun and games, but seeing your aunts and uncles and cousins--even your mom and dad--laughing at you is not a good feeling.

The only positive thing out of this is that it motivates me to pursue my passions and dreams and to focus on myself, without their help.