Don't Let Heartbreak Hold You Back | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Don't Let Heartbreak Hold You Back

When you avoid hurt, you end up hurting yourself.

613
Don't Let Heartbreak Hold You Back
Pexels.com

The most important thing that happened to me was that one of my best friends stopped talking to me for a few weeks. I was just ready to let that relationship go because I would rather lose a friend than have a difficult conversation.

Luckily, my friend had bigger balls than I did. She called me the first day of spring break; during that phone call we laughed and caught up. Near the end, I brought up that I was feeling distance between us. At this she told me that was the reason why she called, she didn't think that I cared about our friendship.

She always bared the responsibly of the relationship: she texted me first, she made the plans and she felt like I didn't try. She was right. I was so afraid of being rejected that I would rather do nothing than put myself out there.

Even something as silly as asking someone to hang out with me gave me fear. This was because I had allowed broken relationships to dictate the choices I made with current relationships. Heartbreak has held me back for years and I don't want the same to happen to you.

At some point in my young life, I told myself that I would not date until I knew that I wanted to marry the person. I justified this by saying I did not want to waste my time, but really it was because I was afraid of going through another breakup. So I remained single for six years.

During this time I would talk to a lot of boys, but would never commit. I said it was because I was using the time for myself, but in actuality, I did not want to get hurt so I would rather hurt. I hurt a lot of people, but I was so focused on my own fears to recognize other people's feelings.

When Maria and I got back from spring break we all met up with our other friend Natalie. We all talked about our breaks and how we were doing. Eventually, the conversation turned to the talk that Maria and I had, along with my fear of rejection. At this Natalie pulled up a quote from the Christian Philosopher C.S. Lewis:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

I was unwilling to be vulnerable with anyone. Not with my emotions-because to me, it's easy to be emotional with people around me- but instead with my time. I carried years of heartbreak that informed me of my worth instead of the people around me.

The heartbreak was not only hurting my friends, but it hurt the people that I used in my time of "singleness."

This past August I started dating someone. The relationship was wonderful and we learned so much from one another, but eventually, we both realized it was not right. I am sad about us breaking up, but I know that he would not want me to carry heartbreak for six more years.

So instead of allowing the lies that people have said about me dictate my heart, I will open the casket of selfishness that it is placed in and allow it to be vulnerable and I hope that you will join me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1360
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

819
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

199992
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

20745
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments