I don't get you, God.

You baffle me. You confuse me. You frustrate me. You fool me. You make me angry. You shock me. You make me cry. You make me question.

I don't get you, God.

I don't get why mothers have to die in childbirth. I don't get why fathers walk out on their daughters, or why mothers walk out on their sons. I don't get why parents lose their jobs. I don't get why twisters rip apart homes. I don't get why little children are shot in schools. I don't get why hurricanes tear states into pieces. I don't get why friends betray friends. I don't get why teenagers die so young. I don't get why girls are sold into slavery. I don't get why people in this world starve. I don't get why a mother or father would choose drugs over their child. I don't get why people are evicted from their homes. I don't get why a brother divides against a brother, or a sister against a sister. I don't get why the world is so messed up.

I don't get you, God.

But then the sun rises above the trees as the skies bursts awake into colors of orange and pink and blue and purple and all these colors I can't even describe. I see birds stretch their wings across the sky. I see waves crash upon the shore. I see the trees dance in the wind. I hear rain gently falling to the ground. I heard children's laughter as they dance for joy across the floor. I see the stars light up like diamonds. I see the moon illuminate the darkness.

I don't get you, God.

I don't get why you let me make the wrong choice. I don't get why you let me get lied to, I don't get why you let me lie. I don get why you don give me help, I don't get why I didn't help that stranger.I don't get why you let them say those things about me, I don't get why I slander you. I don't get why people wont believe in me, I don't get why I wont trust in you. I don't get why the people who "love" me left me, I don't get why I keep running from you.

I don't get you, God.

But then I have those moments. Those moments when I'm face down on the floor, tears streaming down my face, because I cant handle how in awe of you I am. Those moments when my heart feels like it will beat right out of my chest. Those moments where I feel you proclaiming to universe how you love me so much more than I will ever be able to fathom.

I don't get you, God.

I don't get when I'm alone, when I'm messed up, when I'm a screw up, when I give up. When I am at my lowest point and deserve nothing from you. When I know that I am worthless and unworthy...

You are there, and you re picking me up. You are telling me that you are there. You are there when I mess up, when I screw up, when I try to give up. When I'm at my lowest point and deserve nothing from you, you are there.

I don't get you, God.

But I don't have to. You're powerful, but compassionate; Just, vut merciful; Vast, but small; Omnipresent, but personal; On the thrown, but a servant; Judge of all, but so loving.

I don't get you, God.

Your ways are above my ways,

Your thoughts are above my thoughts.

You're the same yesterday, today, and forever.

You are every steady.

Your love is ever steady.

I am yours.

I don't get you, God.

And that's okay.