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I Don't Get You, God

You make me question...

Callie Smith

Jan 31, 2017

Brewton-Parker College

eskipaper.com

I don't get you, God.

You baffle me. You confuse me. You frustrate me. You fool me. You make me angry. You shock me. You make me cry. You make me question.

I don't get you, God.

I don't get why mothers have to die in childbirth. I don't get why fathers walk out on their daughters, or why mothers walk out on their sons. I don't get why parents lose their jobs. I don't get why twisters rip apart homes. I don't get why little children are shot in schools. I don't get why hurricanes tear states into pieces. I don't get why friends betray friends. I don't get why teenagers die so young. I don't get why girls are sold into slavery. I don't get why people in this world starve. I don't get why a mother or father would choose drugs over their child. I don't get why people are evicted from their homes. I don't get why a brother divides against a brother, or a sister against a sister. I don't get why the world is so messed up.

I don't get you, God.

But then the sun rises above the trees as the skies bursts awake into colors of orange and pink and blue and purple and all these colors I can't even describe. I see birds stretch their wings across the sky. I see waves crash upon the shore. I see the trees dance in the wind. I hear rain gently falling to the ground. I heard children's laughter as they dance for joy across the floor. I see the stars light up like diamonds. I see the moon illuminate the darkness.

I don't get you, God.

I don't get why you let me make the wrong choice. I don't get why you let me get lied to, I don't get why you let me lie. I don get why you don give me help, I don't get why I didn't help that stranger.I don't get why you let them say those things about me, I don't get why I slander you. I don't get why people wont believe in me, I don't get why I wont trust in you. I don't get why the people who "love" me left me, I don't get why I keep running from you.

I don't get you, God.

But then I have those moments. Those moments when I'm face down on the floor, tears streaming down my face, because I cant handle how in awe of you I am. Those moments when my heart feels like it will beat right out of my chest. Those moments where I feel you proclaiming to universe how you love me so much more than I will ever be able to fathom.

I don't get you, God.

I don't get when I'm alone, when I'm messed up, when I'm a screw up, when I give up. When I am at my lowest point and deserve nothing from you. When I know that I am worthless and unworthy...

You are there, and you re picking me up. You are telling me that you are there. You are there when I mess up, when I screw up, when I try to give up. When I'm at my lowest point and deserve nothing from you, you are there.

I don't get you, God.

But I don't have to. You're powerful, but compassionate; Just, vut merciful; Vast, but small; Omnipresent, but personal; On the thrown, but a servant; Judge of all, but so loving.

I don't get you, God.

Your ways are above my ways,

Your thoughts are above my thoughts.

You're the same yesterday, today, and forever.

You are every steady.

Your love is ever steady.

I am yours.

I don't get you, God.

And that's okay.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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I Don't Get You, God

You make me question...

Subscribe to our Newsletter

#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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