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Politics and Activism

Don't Forget Who Raped Her

As a society, we cannot forgive everyone’s first sexual assault or digital rape.

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Don't Forget Who Raped Her
deonvsearth

I don't know if you've been engrossed in the Stanford Rape case the way that I have, but I couldn't ignore my inclination to write about it to address some of the factors in my own way.

To begin with, I'm incredibly sorry for the girl who had her self taken from her. These incidents are harmful in so many ways to one's person-hood and I couldn't go around addressing this in the beginning, mostly because of others' inability to do so.

Rape is a serious accusation, one that does in fact change the accused's life, when acknowledged and taken seriously... I can't imagine having the job of being a judge and deciding whether to lock up an individual who is guilty to eliminate their interaction with the outside world but to serve a form of justice to the victim or to let the accused free, risking the trauma this puts on the victim. An outsider doesn't have unabridged knowledge on the situation-- which can be harmful to all involved. It's a frightening risk. And with the fact that I am in no way in the right to judge the situation, I'll refrain from a lot of the accusations stated by others but will go with the facts from the trial, where the accused was found guilty. I can speak of this incident, but not of personal character.

To move onto the main area I wanted to discuss: his parents. And the reasoning is because I don't think people should be focusing on his parents. Sounds weird, but just wait.

One of the biggest things that I have seen lately about this case is the preposterous fact that in a letter that the accused's (Brock Turner's) parents wrote, included his favorite foods to eat and his swimming skills and lacked acknowledgement of the victim. I have to say this offended me and even saddened me, but when I look at a situation I like to put myself in it and see how I then feel. Once I thought about the position of Brock's family, I sort of understood where they were coming from. It's just what parents do, right? If I were in a situation where I would be potentially spending months, years, or even my lifetime serving a sentence in jail/prison, I know that my parents would still find a way to support and defend my name. They wouldn't think that I was too good to pay for what I did, they would sincerely believe that I wasn't guilty and honestly, I believe that's what loving parents do. I don't think people who are guilty of raping someone were raised in a household that told them to rape. They may have been raised poorly, but most of the time they have reached the age where they are fully aware of the wrong that they are doing and their parents should no longer be to blame for their actions. The way that one is raised surely has an affect on who the child grows up to be, but it doesn't take away their awareness to differentiate right from wrong to such an extent.

Brock Turner's dad is sad he only got "20 minutes of action" and doesn't even like eating steaks and smiling anymore... Brock Turner's mom continued to go on about how kind and helpful he has always been. I understand one wanting to protect their loved ones, but the least his parents could do was to address the victim, who is so clearly hurting and who is just as much involved in this arduous time as their son.

Now my focus on his parents is to do exactly the opposite...to get the focus off of his parents. With as much as I'm sure they wish to take the problems away from their son, just as the victim's parents would probably like to take her pain away, they just can't.

One of the paragraphs from the victim's letter that she wrote that I find most important regarding this issue is this:

As this is a first offense I can see where leniency would beckon. On the other hand, as a society, we cannot forgive everyone’s first sexual assault or digital rape. It doesn’t make sense. The seriousness of rape has to be communicated clearly, we should not create a culture that suggests we learn that rape is wrong through trial and error. The consequences of sexual assault needs to be severe enough that people feel enough fear to exercise good judgment even if they are drunk, severe enough to be preventative. The fact that Brock was a star athlete at a prestigious university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency, but as an opportunity to send a strong cultural message that sexual assault is against the law regardless of social class.

Should we exercise the quality of the person that the victim is to decide whether or not the accused should be seen guilty? Absolutely not. I do not care who a women is, no one has a right to her body but herself and people should not get a free rape card to play.

Yes, I have sympathy for this young man. But sympathy does not give you a reason to ignore his actions. Mostly, I’m sorry that he made the decisions that he did but unfortunately, he is said to have made them… There are no do-overs in life. His mom goes on to say that his life is ruined because now for the rest of his life he has to register as a sex offender. Do you know why Brock Turner has to register as a sex offender? Because he committed a sexual crime and there is no trial and error for sexual assault.

In addressing the wrong-doings of Brock Turner's parents, people are unaware that they are redirecting the entirety of the blame, which should be placed on the guilty. I am not defending Brock's parents, I am reminding you to remind the guilty that they are to take responsibility for what they did. I don't see relevance to his parents in this situation for Brock Turner is an adult and no matter the kind things that his parents have to say about him, the girl who was stripped of her privacy and dignity has something to say that should ring much louder.

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