Why is that, so often, the text we are composing takes precedence over giving the person in front of us our undivided attention?

In a society that revolves around technology, it’s easy to think there’s always something better to pay attention to than whatever’s going on around you in the current moment. But more often than not, it’s the current moment that’s far more important than the technology you’re awarding most of your attention to.

Having, or trying to have, a conversation while on your phone or laptop is a social norm nowadays. We are always multitasking, it seems. In the workplace, this is often necessary to ensure you’re getting things done, but it’s disappointing how regularly we do this multitasking in life as well.

Don’t feel too bad though, because unfortunately it is a social norm and it’s so easy to allow yourself to be guilty of it. I’m certainly no exception. The amount of times my roommate has had to say, “you would have heard me if you weren’t on your phone” is embarrassing. And it’s true! I most likely would have heard or better understood what she was saying to me if I weren’t allowing technology to steal part, or all, of my attention. (Although, there are other times that I space out when she’s talking to me even without my phone, but I don’t feel as bad about those times and that’s beside the point).

The fact of the matter is that not only am I being rude but I’m missing out on what’s going on in real-life when I don’t fully listen to her when she is speaking to me. And that’s not okay! She could be telling me about something very important to her, or offering me some sort of vital information about the world. Asking my roommate, “what?”, because I was paying more attention to my phone are times that I am not proud of.

And even if I am listening while poking at my device, when I’m not looking at her I could be missing out on the true meaning of her words. Body language is a very telling tool. Webster’s dictionary defines body language as “the gestures, movement and mannerisms by which a person or animal communicates with others”. How frequently does what you’re trying to say require body language? For me, the answer is very frequently, although that may be because I’m Italian… but regardless of if you’re Italian or not, what’s the point of body language if the person you’re speaking to isn’t looking at you? Will body language in general begin to diminish as technology continues to grow and evolve?

Although we can learn a great deal through our electronic devices, and they can enrich our lives, there are times when they are necessary and times when they are not. Many people, myself included, sometimes forget that when someone is speaking to you, the courteous thing to do is look at THEM. Give your family, friends, peers, coaches…whoever it is…all of your attention. Don’t let your phone or laptop take away from your real-life experiences. Fight back against this social norm, and don’t forget to listen.