If I could go back in time and tell myself to be a little less critical of myself, to go to social events with my friends more often (homework can wait), to be less harsh on myself, to embrace the present, to stop worrying about the future, and most of all, to love myself, I would in a heartbeat. I would tell myself that I am worthy of love, regardless of what grade point average I had, what degree I pursued, what graduate school I was accepted into-I would tell myself to take things one step at a time, one breath at a time, one day at a time. Life will run its course at its own pace. I can only do so much. The rest is up to God.

Let's Rewind to March 2015:

"Ugh. Another paper is due, presentation topics are due, and I have no idea what I want to present on. I'm working doubles all weekend, and I have three club meetings this week. The meeting for Psychology Club is during lunch break, which is when I was planning on studying for my test because my nights are consumed with working off campus. Room checks are tomorrow. Oh, and that's right, I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life after graduation. I'm still waiting to hear back from the first graduate school I applied to. I'm not even sure if I wanna go to that school. I kind of wanna move out of state, but then I'd really miss my family. Graduation is quickly approaching. I need to send out invitations and make sure I have the correct cap and gown size".... I know what you're thinking... Where in the world am I gonna find the time to complete everything? That's my exact thought at this moment in time. Not only, where will I find the time, but what in this moment of time, do I truly want?

Indecisiveness and uncertainty plague my mind. I'm supposed to have everything together. Everyone expects me to do great things with my life and be successful, but I feel so torn-mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I've worked so hard to achieve my goals and done whatever it takes to get into Grad school...all the while, my heart and soul yearn for so much more.

We've all been there, right? Staying on the straight and narrow path and doing everything in our power to achieve our dreams. We know our goals will guide and lead us down the pathways success. Conforming to society's expectations: school, career, marriage, family. While all of those things are wonderful and all involve a journey which breeds resilience and character, it's easy to forget that "In between goals is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed" -Sid Caesar.

Delay of gratification is worth it. I'm not suggesting that pursuing your goals and passion aren't; I'm suggesting that sometimes you deserve that night out with your girlfriends. You deserve to go on that road trip you've always wanted to go on. You deserve to experience other cultures and diversity. You deserve to allow yourself a little freedom and to not forget that life is too short to simply live, work, and die. Your soul is eternal, so treat it well on this beautiful earth while you can.

When I was 19-years-old working three jobs (90+ hours a week), my boyfriend at the time said something to me that I will never forget. He said, "Brittany, when you're old and gray and have grandchildren, what are you going to look back and say to them about your life?" (Starts talking in an elderly woman's voice here) "Well kids, when I was in college, I worked at the Track, Victoria's Secret, and the Keeter Center, and I didn't do the traveling I wanted to do. I just went to college and spent all my free time at work." I didn't see his point then because I was too focused on working hard, trying to be perfect, and accomplishing my goals. But now, I clearly see what he meant. He admired me for my work ethic, but was genuinely concerned about me and encouraged me to do the things I loved to do.

While striving for perfection in all areas of my life, the pressure continued to build and build and build until one day in grad school I began to lose motivation and experienced extreme depression and anxiety. I no longer felt passionate about the work I wanted to do to help others. My pursuit of keeping a 4.0 GPA and landing the best job possible post graduation, came to a halt; I didn't know if I could continue on the path I was on. There was just something deeply missing in my life. Once I figured out what that was, my whole world has changed. Do you ever tell yourself you're beautiful? You're smart? You're fun? You're strong? The connection between loving yourself and pursuing your goals are not mutually exclusive; you can relentlessly pursue both. You just have to balance work and play very well and intentionally.

Treat yourself to a nice walk in the park or to a new landmark you've never seen at least once a week. Go try a new coffee shop with a friend. Buy a bike and start bicycling trails in the wilderness. Travel. Go somewhere new. Book that plane ticket and fly somewhere you love. Be open minded. Fall in love. Let that nice guy buy you dinner. Let someone help you out, too, sometimes; don't be so prideful that you don't allow others to intervene and help support you. We are all relational creatures; don't deprive yourself of something that could be great. "Fear not be dismayed, for I am your God." -Isaiah 41:10. Trust that every experience will teach you something new and don't be afraid to do something outside of your own comfort zone. Playing it safe can lead to complacency and you will remain stagnant; Be fearless and face new challenges with a "can do" attitude.

Although I don't regret achieving academically or for setting goals and sticking to them, I regret the inability to love myself for my heart, soul, and mind. I regret equating love and acceptance with achievement. I regret doubting my worth as a human being based upon how successful I become in the eyes of society. I am worthy. I am loved. I am important.

And you, beautiful person who is reading this, are worthy, lovable, and important. In the midst of finishing a college degree, working multiple jobs, giving up social outings, pursuing a career or graduate studies, please know that all of these things don't even begin to define who you are. You are worth so much more than you realize. You, yes you were perfectly created by the most divine Creator. It's okay to love school. It's okay to love hard work. It's okay to love success. But somewhere in the middle of all of those things, don't forget to love yourself.