Here I am writing to the ones who just don’t feel “Christian enough” at their Christian University; who still fall into sin. To those who continuously give advice on how to stay focused on Christ, yet find themselves putting the world before God.
My first year at a Christian University I learned there are super nice Christians, but also very judgmental Christians. I can tell you right away I am nowhere near being perfect. I constantly am struggling with thinking “I’m not Christian enough to be here.” Sometimes at chapel I don’t even feel God’s presence at all during worship though I see everyone else’s hands raised. I look to them as being “Christian” and me, not so much.
Going into my junior year of college, I have messed up a lot. Don’t believe me? Trust me. This quiet little cheerleader once wasn’t so innocent. How can someone with countless regrets, mistakes, and sins proclaim herself as a follower to the One who was bullied, beaten, and crucified all to proclaim His love for God and me?
Going from the "party" scene to the "good girl"scene was a big change. Making the decision to go from going out and getting drunk to going out for a casual drink is like taking the step into actual adulthood.
My conscience tells me I don’t deserve to be a Christian and be forgiven. Someone like me doesn’t deserve to look at God someday and hear "well done good and faithful one." I’m afraid to pray out loud, I don’t journal every day, nor do I know every bible verse. I feel ashamed of my past. I feel too dirty from my mistakes to be forgiven.
But, I’ve realized looking down on myself for not being “Christian enough” isn’t going to help me overcome anything. Having a personal relationship with Christ isn’t about being the one with the pretty prayers during prayer time, and having the artsy photos with the fancy captions. You aren’t supposed to compare your ways of worshiping the Lord to the person next to you. Everyone proclaims his or her love and belief in Christ differently. You are to grow in friendship with Christ, love him, and do your best every day to wake up and think, “how can I love Him more.”
Being a “good” Christian isn’t about taking daily alone time to talk to God. Walking with Christ isn’t supposed to be about posting your coffee and bible verse of the day on Instagram, acting as though your life is perfect. It isn’t about raising your hand during every worship song during chapel.
It is about doing your best to look to God when the world is telling you to look away. It is about the relationship you have with Christ, and calling Him a friend. It is about falling and admitting defeat. It is about admitting you are not perfect but knowing God gave His Son to die for your mistakes, and you are forgiven by His grace. His compelling love is something that never ends.
If we are being honest here, Jesus Christ is way out of our league. But as a good friend of mine says, “The God will love us and choose us over life.”
Being a Christian is not about hiding the struggle, but in fact is the opposite. Being a Christian is about admitting you struggle, but because of God—and God alone, you are forgiven. You aren’t forgiven because you did a bunch of good things. You are forgiven because of Christ.
There is no checklist for Christianity. You don’t have to raise your hand during worship to prove you are Christian, you don’t have to go overseas, and you don’t have to have a seminary degree. You just have to love God and do your best to worship Him with your daily actions. Maybe for you that is spending time in Africa, serving as a camp counselor, or as simple as singing Christian music. Or like me, it is just helping make worship sessions possible.
Being a Christian is not about being perfect.
Yes, that means God takes your depression, anxiety, anger, and mistakes like your toxic past relationships, addictions, and your biggest regret. Even though we are not perfect and we fail him every day, we are still what he wants.
He continues to love us—stretching out His arms to show you, and having them repeatedly stabbed with nails onto a cross, as an offering of forgiveness for you.
It should’ve been us on that cross. We should have been punished because the truth is we aren’t good enough. But that’s what makes Jesus so wonderful. He is so powerful. With God and Jesus we are never “not good enough.” God is asking you right now to run to Him, with your flaws, with your imperfections, with your felony, with your addiction. He is asking you to run to Him.
So continue everyday knowing Jesus Christ is way out of your league—but loves you and forgives you for every mistake you’ve made. He decided to die for losers like you and me, and because of that we can live for Him and receive eternal freedom. We are not to feel unworthy because the God of everything will sing songs over us and call us his own.
The creator of oceans, diet coke, and Sam Hunt says we are enough— and that, my friends, is something absolutely beautiful.
