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I Did Not Deserve To Be Taken Advantage Of, But I Did Deserve You

I opened up and got shot down.

Harley Ann Kearney

Jan 10, 2019

Albany, NY

386

I Did Not Deserve To Be Taken Advantage Of, But I Did Deserve You

Harley Kearney

What I did not deserve was to be taken advantage of time after time, mentally, emotionally and physically. What I did not deserve was to be called a slut, bitch or whore. I did not deserve that. What I did not deserve was to be lied to every day, time after time. What I did not deserve was to be cheated on, to be hurt. With every text, every message, with every snap, with every minute passed. What I did not deserve was to feel vulnerable and then hurt.

I opened up and got shot down. That my feelings did not mean shit. What I did not deserve was to be made out to be stupid for my feelings, to be put down for wanting loyalty, honesty, and happiness. What I did not deserve was to be blocked because you thought I was annoying, when I just wanted happiness. What I did not deserve was to have my birthday made to be just another day, no gift, no flowers, no card. What I did not deserve was to cry every night wondering why I was not good enough. Why I got cheated on time and time again. What I did not deserve was to cry because you made me feel ugly. No women should feel ugly at the expanse of a man, yet there I was crying because I was ugly.

What I did not deserve was having to beg you to text me throughout the day, yet you entertained all the other guys, but your own girlfriend. What I did not deserve was being called annoying because I had a bad day. What I did not deserve was to feel like shit because I had surgery and it, later on, bit me in the ass. What I did not deserve was you. I did not deserve any of that.

I pray one day you open your eyes to the way you are. But what I do deserve is to be loved, to be happy, to feel special, to be held onto at night and be told that I am beautiful. Because damn it I am. I deserve the world and you couldn't give me a town. I deserve to feel smart, to come home and it is okay I had a bad day. I deserve to have my feelings heard not ignored. I deserve to cry tears of joy because a man finally realized the beautiful, funny, smart, courageous, talented, outgoing woman that I am. I deserve honesty and loyalty, I deserve flowers because it is just a Monday and he thought of me. I deserve to be held because it just was one of my bad days, and in his arms, nothing else matters. I feel safe, I feel loved, I feel happy, I feel brave, I feel strong and I feel safe with him.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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