I have seven siblings and all of them have dated or been in serious relationships at some point in their lives. I, however, have never dated someone long term because I haven't met anyone I would actually consider dating. From all my observations of these relationships, I can tell you what's a red flag and what isn't a big deal.
1. Taking someone back after getting hurt multiple times
GiphyI understand taking your significant other back after one mistake but when you continuously try to make it work and they just keep burning you every time, it's time to just let go. I've seen this a few times and each time it hurts to watch because everyone else can see it but the person in the situation.
2. Moving very quickly into a relationship
This is hard to measure because the only people that can decide the pace of the relationship is the couple in it, but the people around them can see that they're moving too fast and be concerned. I've seen someone get severely hurt because the person that they were interested in lost interest and then gained interest and then lost interest again.
This also has been the case with someone getting into a relationship or a "fling" right after getting out of a relationship and getting seriously hurt.
3. Dating someone that doesn't have the same beliefs as you
This is a touchy subject because some people think it's fine to date whoever and if they don't believe in the same things that are important to them, then they think they can change their significant other. I've found this to not be true on multiple occasions. After seeing things startup and then break off time and time again I see it as important to be with someone who will encourage you and lift you up in the same areas of beliefs that you have.
4. There's no compromise with your S.O.
If someone won't compromise with you for some little things then why are you with them? For example, if you want to go bowling but they hate bowling, then you could go bowling one night and do what they want the next night instead of them refusing to do what you want to do every time. If someone continues to refuse to do things you want to do just because they don't want to do them, it doesn't seem like there's a compromise. And that builds into bigger things the further your relationship goes: finances, work, kids, etc.
5. Hiding your S.O. from your family and your S.O. doesn't care
I understand keeping the person you're dating on the down low until it's official but it gets frustrating when everyone wants to meet this person but we never get to see them. Wouldn't your partner want to meet your family anyway? I know I would want to meet my boyfriend's family so it's just weird when someone keeps them a secret and the significant other doesn't try to talk about it.
6. Not breaking up with someone because you feel like it's not the right time
A breakup is hard. I get that but it's not good to stay with someone because you don't think it's the right time to break up. It shows that they're controlling if they refuse to break up. If you're going do it later, just do it now instead of holding onto something that's clearly not working and being unhappy.
7. Your S.O. is pressuring you
This isn't healthy. No matter what it is. It could be going too far physically, wearing certain types of clothes, saying things, not spending time with your family, etc. Literally, anything you're not comfortable with. If they keep pressuring you to do things that you really don't want to do then that's not a healthy relationship at all.
8. They don't have any friends and you're the only person they hang out with
Isn't it important to have a support group? My mom has said this time and time again that it's really important to have friends and people around you that support you and your goals. If someone doesn't have that then it becomes really hard to be all those things: a friend, family member, and a girlfriend/boyfriend. It could start upsetting them when you hang out with other people and even your family.
9. You don't take advice and ignore the red flags everyone sees
This one isn't on the significant other at this point. When your friends and family tell you things that they see, it's good to actually try and see those things so that you're not totally blindsided when something could happen. Again, you're the only one that can really determine what's best for your relationship so choose wisely.
