A lot of people might take this article in many different ways. My reasoning for this article is to simply explain why I don’t want to date right now. Another reason this was my chosen topic is because women should not have to defend the choice to be alone. The typical third or fourth question I get asked are: “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Well, why don’t you have a boyfriend, do you not want one?” Now, asking whether or not someone has a boyfriend is a legit question, however, asking why I don’t have one is perplexing. The reality is that just because you are in a relationship, does not also mean “being loved and cared for.” Dating is not something everybody wants to do, including myself, and nobody should have to justify not wanting to do so either.
So, the biggest reason I have for not wanting to date is making my decisions solely on my own. Being in a relationship means taking the other person’s wants and needs into consideration. I have my ideal goals, future plans and even everyday routine that are my obligations. Choosing yourself is not selfish – it’s deciding to take time on your own and being yourself, where you can explore your options and find yourself. The best way to end up with someone who wants the same things as you, is to take the time alone to get yourself already started on your path in life. Not dating when you don’t have time, means you are smart and truly want what’s best for yourself.
To those for whom meeting “the one” is a goal, I hope you succeed. Many people find it difficult to understand that I’m happy being single. Maybe it’s because I’m so focused on the future. Maybe it’s because marriage and children have been the ideal life for so long. Why does being single sound so negative? I’m not unhappy or lonely. I have a wide circle of friends that I see often. Right now, I am a full-time student, work two jobs and make time for friends and family. I am living a busy life where I would simply not have time to date right now. Also, I would not want to drop anything to be able to date. If you know you aren’t in the position to take it seriously, it’s OK to choose not to commit. There is also more out there for me even though I’m not quite sure what and who that could exactly be.
Most importantly, you have things to learn from being single; for example, how to be independent or how to take care of yourself. Being single should never be a source of shame. As women, we owe nobody an explanation of our relationship status. Being single also doesn’t make you less happy. There are endless ways to find happiness outside of relationships, such as family, friends, work and adventures. I’ve actually noticed I’m far more motivated in school when I don’t have a relationship to distract me. I have to make myself happy by pursing my opportunities. It is time to start pouring my all into things that mean the most to me.
