You've been there. That time in your life where you don't really have any super close friends, your plans for your future seem to be disappearing like bobby pins, and it's a Friday night. Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Those nights where you start Googling random things and end up watching videos of other people's weddings or their messed up pets. Yeah, those times. When these rough moments hit, I tend to run to the same few things. You guessed it! Netflix and my fridge.

Except this time I wasn't at home. Nope, somewhere quite a bit different. By that, I mean I had moved from Georgia to North Carolina to live with some close family friends for the summer. My boyfriend of almost three years had broken up with me and I was determined to turn the page and begin the next chapter of my life. Somewhere at least four hours away. But in all honesty, I couldn't even begin to search for their remote or raid their fridge, without hearing my phone buzz.

The first few weeks I had been there, I met some amazing people. But sadly, my cell wasn't blowing up because one of them was trying to contact me. It was some random guy who had managed to find me through Instagram and for the last two weeks hadn't relented a single bit about wanting to take me to dinner. Truthfully, this guy was pretty good lookin', extremely rich, and willing to buy me food. That last part is key. Food. So instead of taking into consideration that I didn't like talking to him, wasn't interested in anything he liked, or that I was pretty sure he'd laugh if I invited him to church, I finally said yes to dinner. P.S. It only gets worse from here.

I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. I couldn't stand him. In fact, all night all he could talk about was his truck, his body, and his money. Oh, and what fish he'd caught. I may be from the south but that doesn't mean I'm gonna ask you what tires are on your truck, or what your biggest catch was. Everything he talked about was what every guy in high school had littered their conversations with. I simply smiled and nodded, taking a giant bite of my burger (aka the bait) (aka the only reason why I really said yes) until he finally asked me the question I hated answering the most, "So what really made you wanna move here?" I sighed and thought about sugar coating it all, but why? It's not like my entire town doesn't know, or my church, or even a small percentage of North Carolina for that matter.

So I told him. I told him I got broken up with and why I wanted to get away from Georgia. I told him what I thought had gone wrong, but why I knew it was a blessing in the long run. I told him who I was living with there in North Carolina, And I had just started to tell him about how I felt about it all. When I looked at him and realized he hadn't looked up at me from his food in the past five minutes. I stopped talking mid-sentence, waiting for him to look up, wondering why I had quit talking. He didn't look up.

"Do you even care about what I'm saying right now?" I said, very obviously ticked off that this guy who had begged for my time was bluntly ignoring the words coming out of my mouth.

Then he said it. "No. I don't care. All I needed to know was that you two broke up." Then without the slightest hesitation, he ate a fry. Let me just tell you, I don't think I've ever wanted to take somebody's french fries away in my entire life, more than I wanted to snatch his right out of his hand.

How dare you enjoy that hot salty heaven stick, you jerk. Your mouth doesn't deserve that fry. Maybe a blade of grass. Try a blade of grass.That might go better with the bland words that just came out of your ungrateful mouth! Those were the things that immediately ran through my mind.

Yet I couldn't find my voice. It was one of those situations where I know I looked like a deer in headlights, but I couldn't move a muscle. In all honesty, I didn't necessarily want to. Here I was, moved all the way from Georgia and everything I'm used to, allowing some guy that doesn't even really care about what I have to say to take me out to dinner. Since when had I become so open to allowing these type of people into my life? Since when was it OK with me for a guy who's supposedly pursuing me, to not care about the biggest thing that's going on with me? That's when it hit me.

It all started when Ididn't care. I lost all motivation to carefully control who I allowed close to me. I had given up on all efforts to weed out the people I surround myself with because I thought, well, at least they're there. Someone I had loved for close to three years had seemingly quit caring in one day, and I thought if even that person doesn't care anymore who truly will? So I shouldn't expect these other people to care.

But no. I'm so thankful he said what he did. Because it wasn't until he said it that I realized I didwant him to care. Not necessarily him, but I want the guys who are interested in me. I want my friends to care. I want my family to care. I want my church to care. There are a lot of people that I want to truly care about me, and there are a lot of people that do. Yet I so easily fix my focus on the ones that don't. I surround myself with them and end up forgetting who I am. I go so far sometimes as to put my worth into what they think and how much they like me. It ends up tearing me to shreds, and sometimes it ends up hurting the people that really do care about me. Or why don't we go ahead and mention the greatest act of love that's ever been done for me? God sent his only son to die on a cross to show me how much he cares about me.

Is it not selfish of me to allow these people to control the way I think about myself when my creator was crucified to show me just how much he loves me? I would be a fool to sit around investing my energy into people so they will like me or listen to what I have to say. I don't have to prove myself to anyone! Jesus has already proved himself, and my identity is found in him and him alone.

So yeah, one day a guy will take me to dinner and he won't be able to take his eyes off me when I talk. He'll ask me how my day was. He'll make things easier for me, not more difficult. He won't be late to pick me up. He won't leave me wondering where we're at. He'll dance with me when it's raining and he'll send me scripture during the day to encourage and lead me. Because he cares.

One day, I'll cry to my friend because I lost my job and she'll cry with me. She'll come over at 11 o'clock at night to binge watch something on Netflix with me and we'll end up falling asleep. Then she'll wake me up at 8 a.m. screaming, "You're late for your interview!" and help dress me while I curl my hair. Because she cares. Then one day when I get married my brother will accidentally see me in my dress before the ceremony and he'll tear up, only to make a joke about how ugly I am and quickly exit the room to shed just a few more tears somewhere out of sight. Because he cares. Those are moments I want in my life.

I don't want to look up from my burger one day and see someone that doesn't care that they forgot to take the onions off again! Don't get me wrong, I want to care for those who don't care about me, but not enough to let them discourage who I know I am in Christ. It's time for me to stop allowing them to jeopardize that.

I know my worth. I know I'm worth caring about. And I know you are, too.