If you were on the shyer side while growing up, you know all too well what it's like to be labeled as the "quiet kid." You're just being yourself, and you're suddenly bestowed with a title you hadn't asked for or even really realized was a thing.
It's not that being called quiet is necessarily a bad thing. It's just a very assumptive word. I never understood why adults would call me quiet. I was talkative with my parents, my friends, close family members--people that I felt comfortable around. Not everyone is going to be a chatterbox with people they don't know very well or in a big group setting.
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As I've gotten older, my label of "quiet" has become much less frequently used, as it does with many "quiet kids." Although it is still said to me occasionally and I can't help but feel a little defensive about it. I know that most of the time it's meant in a more complimentary manner, but it's still a label I didn't ask for or seek to be all the same.
I mean, think about it. You wouldn't go up to someone you didn't know very well and tell them that they're a loud person (or maybe you would), so why is it okay to do that to "quieter" people? Each individual could have a number of different reasons on why they don't speak out as much.
According to PsychCentral, "In a study of shyness among 18-21 year olds in eight countries, researchers found high levels of shyness in every country studied, thus supporting a claim that shyness is found in all cultures." Though it's important to note that not all people who could be labeled as "quiet" are actually shy.
So, whether you're the chatty Kathy of your group or you tend to mostly speak up when you feel you have something important to add to the conversation, you play an important role nonetheless. And for those who like to tell people they're "quiet", reconsider next time when the thought comes to mind. Will you or the person you call "quiet" gain anything from that little exchange? Probably not. That person has probably received the same remark time and time again, anyways. Keep it to yourself for once.
