Considering the fact that I’ve been in high school for nearly four years now, I think I know a thing or two about how it works. I know the ins and outs of how to get the best table at lunch and how to pass chemistry class with at least a C. I’ve seen it all too, from friend groups breaking apart to couples going their separate ways even though everyone thought they’d get married.

Here’s the thing though: it may just be me, but I don’t believe in true love in high school. Sure, it’s possible for a significant other to make you so incredibly happy and for thoughts of having a future together to become all you have running through your mind. But let’s face the facts: you’re more than likely will not marry your highschool sweetheart. Only 2% of people find that their high school love is the person they’re meant to spend the rest of their life with.

Out of all of my friends, I’m the realist. I’m the one who knows that the world is a cruel place not from stories but from experience. So when I give my advice to my clique, they don’t take it too well, even if I am just trying to help them out. They usually get defensive, considering that more than half of them are in relationships of their own. They say that them and their significant other are different and are going to defy the odds and live happily ever after with twenty puppies and a huge home and two and a half kids and blah blah blah blah.

You may be disagreeing with everything I’m standing for, but just hear me out. Have you ever actually thought about reality? Life isn’t some giant fairytale where the glass slipper fits perfectly or a kiss wakes you up from a never-ending slumber. There is no bibbidy-bobbidy-boo to make everything turn out okay. The reality is, especially in little rural northwestern Pennsylvania, you only know a cluster of people. But just think about the fact that there are thousands of other clusters out there just waiting to meet you. Your soulmate doesn’t have to be in this school, or city, or state, or even country for that matter. So stop treating it like the only people you’re ever going to know are your next door neighbors.

Another thing about people thinking they’ve found their one and only in high school is the fact that we are all what, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18? The human brain doesn’t stop developing until you turn 25, so you’re still growing as a person physically and mentally. So with that being said, what makes you think that you’re going to find the one who makes you grow as a person when you’re not even done growing on your own? Sure, someone can give you joy, but they shouldn’t be the only source of your happiness. You have to learn to love yourself before you devote your life to another human being. That’s the thing about relationships when the people are still young. Kids in high school are technically still kids; we live with our parents, we are still forced to be in a building for hours on end, and we still have to ask to use the restroom during class. No matter how much you don’t want to believe it, you’re not as independent as you think. It’s okay to depend on your partner, but learn to be independent first so if it doesn’t work out, you’re not left feeling like your world came crashing down. But with the level of dependency teenagers do have, does a relationship really sound like a great idea?

My main concern with people thinking they’ve found their soulmate in high school is plain and simple: how can you expect to find the love of your life when you haven’t even truly lived your life? Right now, we’re all trapped in a lifestyle that is being forced upon us, and even though we gain more freedom when we’re teenagers, we’re not technically free. We haven’t had the privilege of going out on our own and travelling and attending college and getting our own places and buying animals on our own and having our lives be completely in our hands; we haven’t had the privilege of living. So I pose the question again, how can you expect to find the love of your life when you haven’t even truly lived your life? Think about it.

By all means, prove me wrong. I welcome you to find your one and only, but stop making it your main priority of going to high school. You’re still a child, who is in school to prepare for your future career and to learn all that your developing brain can handle. Your parents do not pay taxes to the school district so you can fail tests and not do homework and flunk out of classes because you were too focused on the way your significant other smiled at your when they passed you in the hallway. You’re here to succeed in academics and to be a kid, because you still are, not find “the love of your life” and then get upset when they’re not. Just saying.

That’s really all I have to say about this topic, especially considering that the people that this is pertained to won’t bother to listen to me anyway.