I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. As a little girl, I have vivid memories of waking up each morning and crying my eyes out because the thought of spending 8 hours away from my comfort zone ("home") was the absolute worst thing I could imagine, and it caused me to feel physically sick. This persisted for months and the only thing that helped me through it was talking to my school counselor each morning.

As I got older, the anxiety stuck around but it showed up in spurts. I don't think I really understood that I had anxiety until my senior year, when I missed 2 consecutive weeks of school. My anxiety and the stress of not understanding what was happening to my body had so much control over me that it made me physically sick. (Like, "bed ridden and dry heaving into a bucket every single morning" sick.)

I can remember feeling ashamed because no one understood. It only made sense for others to assume I was making excuses because there was no real explanation for what was happening to me. How could I make them understand when I couldn't even understand it myself? The only thing I knew to say was "I'm sorry", but honestly? Constantly apologizing was only making my anxiety worse.

There are so many people in this world who are going through the exact same struggle and I want you to know that you do NOT need to be ashamed. You do NOT need to feel obligated to apologize for something you cannot control on your own. Whether you've been dealing with anxiety for years or you're just now starting to realize that something is a little "off" with your mental health, the MOST IMPORTANT DECISION you can make for yourself is to accept it, embrace it, and NEVER be ashamed.

Here are 5 reasons why you should never feel like you need to say you're sorry for your struggle with anxiety:

(1) Apologizing for your anxiety means you recognize it as something that is "wrong".

Do you apologize when you have the flu or a cold? No. Anxiety is an illness, just like the flu or any other virus you may pick up. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. You can't control what the flu does to your body without the help of time and medication. The same can be said for anxiety.

(2) Your mental health is a priority, and it matters.

If you're overwhelmed and your anxiety prevents you from following through with an obligation, you shouldn't feel ashamed of that. Your mental health matters and should be taken seriously. You have a right to take a day for yourself to regain control of the chaos your mind creates. There's a reason why more and more companies are starting to accept their employees taking "mental health days".

(3) You have no idea when anxiety is going to veer its ugly head, and that's not your fault.

Last summer, my family and I went on a vacation to Panama City, Florida. Driving down, I was completely fine. We were laughing, talking, and trying to make light of the rainy weather that seemed to be following us from the moment we left West Virginia. Then, all of a sudden and for seemingly no reason, I started to panic. My mom was in the middle of talking to me and it was like her voice drifted miles away. My head was going crazy and tears began to pour out of my eyes. I held up my index finger to politely interrupt my mom and let her know something was happening. She immediately stopped, asked if it was my anxiety, watched me nod my head yes, and put her hand on my shoulder. I still have no idea why it happened or what caused it, but I went into a panic attack. Fortunately, everyone in the car was extremely supportive and they gave me the space I needed to bring myself out of the panic. My boyfriend put his hand on mine, which really helped bring me back to reality and the present moment. Meanwhile, my mom just told me it was okay and reminded me to let it out. Had I been in the car with people who weren't understanding of my condition, things might have been different, but I still wouldn't have needed to apologize. If people aren't supportive or don't understand, that's not your problem. Try your best to ignore them (difficult, I know) and focus your mind on the things that comfort you. Focus on the present moment. Meditate on your surroundings. Begin by trying to recognize the furthest sound from you (the wind, the sound of cars driving by, etc.), then focus on closer sounds (the ticks of a clock, voices, footsteps, etc.). Finally, move even closer by zoning in on the sound of your own breathing. Focus on nothing else. Repeat these steps until you're able to get out of your panic. (A special "thank you" to my dear friend Jessi who taught me this helpful trick.) Take every bit of time you need, and realize that there may be times when people just aren't going to understand. If that's the case, it's their problem to worry about and get over. Not yours. You do NOT need to apologize for anxiety or panic. EVER. You only need to focus on helping yourself.

(4) Saying "I'm Sorry" causes you to relapse.

Back when I was still learning how to deal with my anxiety, I found myself in a very difficult place when it came to my family. I missed out on some really big things (vacations, family visits, etc.) which was difficult for anyone to understand because they had no idea what I was going through. Is this their fault? Not at all. Rather than try and take the time to better explain what I was battling, I constantly tried to fix it by saying "I'm sorry." Newsflash: that didn't fix anything. Instead, my constant stream of "I'm sorries" turned a foothill of problems into a mountain. Things would get better, but then another "I'm sorry" situation would come up and I'd be right back to feeling awful and *surprise* even more anxious. It wasn't until I started speaking my needs that I was able to make a positive change. Example? It is almost guaranteed that I will panic if I ride in the backseat of someone's car on a long trip. My solution? Rather than try and force myself to do what I know won't turn out well, I tell my family that I'm going to drive separately. For YEARS, I was terrified to suggest such a simple solution, so believe me when I say that I understand how difficult it can be. Why was I afraid? Because I was anxious I was going to hurt someone's feelings (even though I knew in my heart they would understand if I'd just speak up). Just trust me when I say that it's worth it to be vocal about what you're feeling–even if it doesn't make sense. It's worth it to speak up. Promise.

(5) Anxiety is a part of who you are.

As awful as it can be, anxiety can also be a gift if you choose to embrace it. Who apologizes for making the most out of a gift? Answer? No one. My anxious heart has saved me from SO many situations that could have ultimately changed the course of my entire life. Something that has really helped me was learning to see my anxiety as a companion to my conscience–not an enemy. Think of it this way: my conscience is like a wise old grandparent, and my anxiety is like my child who's bouncing around screaming whatever the grandparent says. It might be a little annoying, but it's a part of me, so I can't help but accept it.

Now that I'm 30 years old, I've had time to learn how to embrace my anxious heart. I still fail at times. When a panic attack comes, the only way I can get out of it is to take care of myself and let it run its course. The difference now is that I don't feel like I have to hide it. I've chosen to surround myself with people who are understanding and supportive, and it makes all the difference. I no longer feel the need to apologize because I know that there's nothing to be sorry for.

It is my hope that this post will help inspire you to find that same strength within yourself, and similarly, help you to remember that you are NOT alone in your struggle.

5 Reasons You Should Never Say “I’m Sorry” For Having Anxiety