Journeying through first semester of college, I realized I had accidentally brought some extra baggage that I most certainly didn’t need. Thinking I had checked my past hurts and scars at the door, I was totally unprepared for Jesus' radical sculpting of my heart through them.

When I began the process of sorting through some of my “stuff”, I relied heavily on myself. I kept digging and digging into my own heart to find the answers and remedies to all of my feelings. In fact, I actively did this for over a year without recognizing it.

At first, it worked. It was amazing. I felt so much better, my mood was improving, and my relationships were being strengthened. Starting out at college, I was ready to conquer the new adventure I was embarking on. After a month, things started getting hard. As I was developing new close friendships, I was reminded of the failed relationships in my past. As I began to get to know people, I found myself holding on to things I thought I had released long ago.

One day, I found myself so overwhelmed and no clue where to go. I set up an appointment with the Deaconess on campus. She said words I had never heard or at least never comprehended until that day.

"It's not about what I can do to fix myself, but it's how Jesus is constantly renewing me."

I was trying to save myself all this time instead of looking to the One who already saved me. I was trying to earn grace that was already given to me freely.

For so long, I was blindly living as prey to my past. Instead of being prey to my past, I began praying for constant reminders of my Baptism. God already saved you. Store that treasure up in your heart replacing the baggage you’ve been wearily carrying all this time.

God’s Blessings.