Do you find it difficult to say “no” to people asking for your support? Do you find yourself struggling to manage your own time because you feel like you are always running around helping others? Perhaps you neglect your own personal needs because you are too busy trying to support others?
If you agree to any of these statements, you are not alone. The struggle of bearing the innate desire to understand and help others can often have a negative impact on the lives of empathic people everywhere. Often, if careless, a person can become increasingly overwhelmed by the amount of pressure that comes from feeling the need to please everyone. It is not uncommon for these people-pleasers to develop anxiety under the extreme stress of expending more energy they acquire. Additionally, a person may begin to feel under appreciated and taken for granted if they do not receive appropriate appraisal for their actions.
Although not all aspects of being a naturally sympathetic person are bad, it is important to remember when you are saying “yes” to others you are sometimes saying “no” to yourself. Your caring actions towards others are reputable; it is an increasing rarity for people to carry within them the genuine compassion for understanding and helping others. However, your inherent kindness and empathy that can potentially manipulate how much you believe you can handle.
Now listen, I’m not saying to stop caring about people or to quit helping others in need. I’m also not saying to be completely selfish and only care about your own needs. All I’m saying is that it is important to realize you have the ability to make choices for yourself. In this life the only thing you are fully responsible is the quality of the decisions you make which is why it is important to realize it is okay to make decisions that are best for you.
Being confident in yourself and your decisions will show you what is most important to you. If saying, “yes” to people and making sure they are happy is what is most important to you, make sure you take the opportunities to help those people in moderation. It is a great thing to be able to empathize with others and to be able to offer your honest support to them (you are the type of person many people need in their life!) However, if you do not allow yourself to take care of your own needs, you will not be able to wholeheartedly help others because you will have no energy to expend to those around you. Do not allow people to take advantage of your kindness and your willingness to help; don’t be a doormat. You must set boundaries for yourself that state what you can do for others and what you cannot do for others. It is important to understand that the behavior we accept from others determines how they think they can treat us. Do not allow the guilt of saying “no” to someone stop you from doing it, because by saying “no” you are saying “yes” to yourself.
