One of the strangest items my roommate, Amanda, owns is a dog chew toy: a grape-colored, salmon polka dotted pig. If squeezed, the pig lets out a blood-curdling squeal; hence, she likes to creep behind doors just to jump out and squeal the pig, which causes me to let out a scream that echoes through the dorm halls. I’m still unsure of why we receive countless noise warnings.
One evening I was lying in my bed on the brink of permanently closing my eyes for the next eight hours, but a thought struck me. I had been longing for revenge on Amanda who scared the living daylights out of me one too many times. Amanda was in one of the study rooms reviewing for tomorrow's test, so I knew she would not be back soon. I called our friend, Rachel, from down the hall and recruited her to help me deliver payback to Amanda. The plan was all set: Rachel was slipped under the covers of Amanda’s bed with the pig hugged tightly to her chest. I closed the blinds and turned off all the lights to create a pitch-black room before I slid into bed.
A few minutes later I hushed Rachel’s giggling as Amanda open the door. Bless her heart; she was falling right into the trap. She tiptoed around the room not turning on any lights to make sure she did not wake me. My heart started to pound and I felt that same anxious feeling I used to get while playing hide-and-go-seek as a kid because Amanda was probably about to murder the stranger in her bed, whom she could not see. I couldn't blame her, though, I'd probably start swinging if I found a stranger in my bed with my while I thought my roommate was asleep, and we never closed our door so anyone or anything could just walk in unannounced. We think things through pretty well obviously. I began to hear her footsteps inching toward her bed, and in that exact moment that I prayed, “God, be with me that she doesn’t murder me too, and I guess spare Rachel while you’re at it. Oh heavens, be with me. I’ve done something bad.”
But see, I did something else wrong besides taking revenge a pinch too far -- I asked God to be with me. I tend to ask God of this quite often, but I do not always do what God asks of me. I selfishly take what Jesus has given to me as a free gift. And due to my sinful nature, I do not see the error in my ways. However, Christ has given us this precious gift of an eternal relationship. Although this relationship is accredited to Christ's death on the cross, in order for a relationship to be meaningful it requires effort on both sides. If I am constantly asking for Him to be with me while I am not consistently in prayer and seeking out His wisdom, then what kind of relationship is that? Selflessly, Christ continuously gives His life. So my praise of offering all that I have to Him is still insufficient because His companionship is a gift of grace that I cannot repay (Romans 5:8). For me to grow in my relationship with Christ is to also invest, not just take what wrongly I feel entitled to given that I am completely unworthy of Christ's sacrifice.
A relationship with Christ is an ongoing project. Once I become complacent in my walk with Christ, I begin to distance myself from understanding Him. By saying, “God, be with me” out of habit I abuse a gift that He has given me and lessen the true magnitude of His greatness (Psalm 47:2).
God is not a rosy-cheeked Santa Claus; He is a God that is to be feared for He is sovereign over all. Allowing the phrase "God be with me" to become a staple interjection to any situation in my everyday life makes me lose sight of the incomprehensible meaning of Him always being with me. It becomes more of a habit than a phrase that reminds of the impact of when Christ is with me.
To truly allow myself to experience the power of Christ, I began to challenge myself to stop asking God to be with me this past spring. Instead, I prayed that God would help me to see that He is actually always with me. A true test of faith is holding on to the promises that Christ has given to us, or as 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, "For we live by faith, not by sight." Jesus promises that from the day I accepted Him into my life, He is always with me and will never leave me. Then why do I ask Him to be with me when He never left? Maybe my perception of an all-powerful God is that He can be turned off and on when convenient or perhaps it is compensation for my own insecurities of how a perfect God could love such an imperfect person. Instead, I need to be vulnerable and allow myself to trust that Christ will never leave me (Deuteronomy 31:6). Asking Christ to be with me is an unnecessary redundancy that only shines light on my lack of faith.
Thankfully God is always with me, even when I scheme against my roommate, Amanda. As she pulled back her sheets, Rachel jumped out squealing the pig. I honestly thought Amanda had a heart attack; she dropped to the floor screaming like a girl in a horror film paralyzed with fear. Within the second, laughter exploded in the room coming from Rachel and me, and surprise we got another noise warning soon after. Amanda rolled over on the floor glaring her laser beam eyes in fury, but that expression quickly melted and she began to laugh too.
In whatever situation you are in, instead of asking Christ to be with you, challenge yourself to rephrase. Ask Christ to allow you to see Him in every situation and fully trust that He is always with you never leaving or forsaking you as He promises.
