There are many different reasons that people decide to get tattoos. Some just think its body art and enjoy the form of self-expression, as if the tattoo is an extension of their personalities. Others spontaneously decide to get that cute Pinterest design they’ve been eyeing for months. But there are some people who have been thinking about what tattoos they want to get for years. People who want a permanent reminder of a life altering event to carry with them everywhere they go.

Maybe they lost a loved one. Someone who truly shaped them into who they are and were large parts of their lives, then suddenly they were gone. Maybe they’ll get a fingerprint, signature, song lyric or anything else so when they look at themselves during hard times, that person is still with them.

Maybe they have experienced a form of self-harm. The daily fight through depression might have led to eating disorders or other forms of self-harm. Such as the “;” movement that promotes hope for those that are victims of or effected by depression, suicide, addiction and self-harm.

I’ve made the mistake many times in asking someone what their tattoo means. Once, I even said that my rho gamma had to be a Pi Phi because of the wings on her wrist. She just sighed and told me, “No, that’s for my dead brother.” Those words felt like a slap to the face, and rightfully so. Who was I to assume that some people don’t choose their tattoos for aesthetics? The blunt response she gave sounded as if she was tired of explaining herself. People who get tattoos to remember did not do it for you, but themselves.

If you’re not sure what a symbol or design someone has then its O.K. to ask what it is in general. But asking for the reason people get their tattoos should be seen as rude. Tattoos are not really meant for the people who gaze upon it, but for the person who wears it. It’s private. It’s personal. So please, stop asking.