I've never dated, and I'm okay with that. But when others ask me if "so and so" and I are getting serious or in a dating relationship, that's where I have an issue. Why is it not enough to tell someone that "we're just friends?"

Society expects guys to seek and date a girlfriend before college. There is a stereotype that if a guy is hanging out with a certain girl a lot, then they are dating or he has a crush. This sound dumb, but it's hard to explain. Here's a part of a conversation that I happen to fall into a lot:

Person: "So what's with you and this girl?"

Me: "we're just good friends"

Person: "ah, okay, I see... just friends... are you sure?... (raises eyebrows)"

What do people want from me!? A love story? If so, you're asking the wrong person. You may be teasing me, but having a whole bunch of people asking me the same thing is annoying and makes me feel like I'm below the standards. But it doesn't hurt me because I am ok with being below the norm of society; I don't agree with society's dating culture anyways...

Unlike most people, I'm socially awkward, but that doesn't make a difference. In fact, it sometimes helps me. Being socially awkward, I'm always afraid that I'm going to mess up. Thus, I don't make seemingly instantaneous dating relationships like others do. But it's not just because of that. The reason is also because I don't see a need to date in the way today's culture says we should.

I continuously see breakups. And I also see those individuals keep on trying breakup after breakup... some say that's perseverance, and staying strong, but I see it as being ignorant. Most people who have short term romantic relationships tend to break up and seek another one. He says "It's not your fault, it's mine," but then he goes and says the same thing to the next person he breaks up with. You admit it was your fault, but are you doing anything to fix what you admitted to her was your own fault? This vicious cycle from the outside seems exhausting, yet they keep on doing it. But what is the reason? What is this dating culture really about? What does the media constantly promote guys in this generation to look for in a relationship? The culture today advocates in dating to hook up.

I challenge any of the guys reading this to re-evaluate what they're looking for in a relationship. Are you dating because you want to seek a lasting relationship, or dating just to hook up?

This isn't an easy thing to do, but sometimes you need to check your motives.

I became friends with this one particular girl in the first week of college and I tend to hang out with her a lot. What annoys me is that there are some guys who have jokingly ask me if I'm going to make a move on her. I always say no to that, because it's not a joke to me. People don't understand that making jokes about getting with the girl isn't something to joke about. So what we hang out together? Why can't I just be friends with her? Yes, there are a couple of signs showing that there may be something special in this friendship, but that doesn't mean anything yet. I'm her friend because we both have similar types of personalities and beliefs.You can't just skip the ‘friendship stage’ of any relationship.

The reason why I'm not dating yet is because I don't want to fall into the trap of the culture's idea of dating. Dating is supposed to allow you to find a lifelong relationship with someone that will stay with you no matter what. Dating is not supposed to be a process of finding the right girl to hook up with. Dating shouldn't be accepted as a type of relationship that you know won't last for life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but today's teen dating isn't focused on creating a lifelong connection, it's focused on passion and physical satisfaction. Sure that's great, but why would you want that to be the only thing holding your relationship together? Those relationships focused only on those physical pleasures will never last. Never. Dating leads to intimacy but not always commitment.

This article wasn't easy to write, and I am not speaking for the guys or the girls. I am speaking for what I see in other's faulty relationships. I do encourage you (especially guys) to reassess what you're looking for and if your motives are ones that will help you create lifelong relationships. I'm not asking anyone to change who they are, I'm just asking them to think. Yes, the things discussed here may cause some controversy, but again, it will make you think. I'm not trying to insult or offend anyone. There are good guys out there. I am just stating that there's also an ugly reality. Because I have been blinded by this ugly reality, and I've come to know how ugly it is. Don't waste your time looking for a quick hook up.There are good young relationships out there, and it is those relationships that you see become true love stories. It is only after you get the idea of dating to hook up out of your head that you can begin to find a lifelong soulmate that can provide you more. Dating shouldn't be a recreational activity, it should be a discernment process.