Note to self and everyone else:
Don’t accept rejection.
This is something I have always abided by. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been a writer, and the hardest part about being a writer is having your work rejected. And rejected again. I’ve conditioned myself to expect rejection out of fear -- because if I get my hopes up, the harder they will fall, and the harder it will be to pick myself back up.
When I say, “Don’t accept rejection,” I do not mean you should be in denial. You shouldn’t read that rejection notice only to say, “Nah, that isn’t true. This didn’t happen. You know what? I didn’t even apply for this thing!” Because what good does that do? All this does is keep you from learning how to get yourself together after being hurt, because let’s face it -- you’re going to get hurt. Rejection, too, will hurt. However, you can’t let it be swept under the rug either. You must learn from it or at least try to.
Do let yourself come to terms with rejection. Acknowledge it, try to understand it, and maybe even cry a little. That’s okay. (I’ve been there. We all have.) You have to allow yourself to feel the repercussions of rejection in order to grow from it. Rejection, I’ve found, provides a starting point, not a death sentence. Ask yourself: Where will I grow from here? How will I prove myself? The important thing is that you know when you’re ready to move on, to re-enter the ring. Rejection can change you, but you have the power to determine whether it will change you for worse or for better.
Do realize that rejection is realistic. You may feel like some people fly through life only getting gold medals and acceptance letters, but one day, they will get the bronze. Or maybe not even place. That can be a good thing. How can you get better if you’re never told that you can get better? Rejection can be used as a motivator to improve. No one is “done” growing in their skill set; improvement is always possible, but only people who realize the ever-present potential can achieve it.
Don’t let rejection get to your head -- just as people who are put on pedestals are told: Don’t let this get to your head. It’s like a disease if you let it infect your thoughts, turning everything rotten and dormant. I’ve let rejection kill my creativity on more than one occasion, and it’s nothing more than a waste of time and potential. Those intrusive thoughts of “I’m supposed to be good at this. Was I ever good at this? Will I ever be good enough?” are dangerous doubts that will halt your process of getting better. Rejection doesn’t have to be a roadblock; it doesn’t have to be something telling me that I’m not good enough and never will be. More often than not it is something encouraging you to further yourself, to prove your merit. When I say, “Don’t accept rejection,” I am telling you, "Don’t accept defeat."
Rejection sucks. Rejection can make you feel like you’re at the end -- that there is nowhere to go but down from there, but really, it’s just the opposite. After you’ve faced rejection, you’ve confronted the worst. You will probably have to face it again, but your past experiences of moving forward in spite of rejection will strengthen your resolve to soldier on.
It’s easier said than done, but saying it is the first step to doing it.
Let yourself finish that entire bag of Hershey's Drops and spend however many hours of wallowing in self-pity, but also let yourself get back up and try again. Keep pursuing, keep falling down and getting back up, keep at it, keep growing.
