Trauma is hard. It's hard in every aspect, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. Recently, I've had to talk about mine, head-on. I won't go into details, but it was a defining moment in my life that has affected me ever since it happened.
I'll just say, it destroyed me, and it wasn't something that I ever thought about until I was ready.
I suffered silently, I didn't know who to talk to, and I didn't know how to react. I stopped going to class, I stopped talking to my friends, and I didn't eat right. All I did was sleep. I couldn't tell what was wrong with me.
It was the loneliest I had ever felt.
I couldn't deal with it anymore. I couldn't be sad anymore. I was sad all the time, and it was exhausting. I finally decided that I'd had enough. I told my RA. I called my mom. I cried, a lot. And I mean a lot. But, that was the first step. It's what I needed to get over my shit.
Why did all of this happen? Because I finally believed that I deserved it. I deserved to not suffer every day. I deserved to be happy again. I was not getting anywhere I wanted to be constantly dogging on myself.
I needed to be better.
So, I did. I went to therapy. I talked to my friends. I started going to class again. I started getting better. It's still a constant struggle, but I'm here and I'm pushing.
I'm here to tell you that you deserve to heal. Don't let yourself suffer silently. You deserve to live your life to the best of your ability. Go to therapy, find people to talk to, and let yourself live the life that you know you deserve to live.