Let the temptation sink in.
I know you want to say something,
Anything to heard.
The first lie is always the easiest,
Something we have mastered in the west.
My first
Was in the first grade
When the teacher asked my name.
"Sarah," she said.
I didn't want to answer her, I told myself,
"I'm not her. I don't want to be her."
With the first lie complete,
I continued on.
The others I can't remember,
They're muddled and they're wild.
I promise I didn't say them to hurt others.
The exact opposite,
I said them to keep them safe.
"I am okay."
"I am alright."
"Everything is going to be fine."
Lies, hundreds of them whirl to the surface.
Okay and alright feel like such words to say now.
There's no truth behind them.
"Sarah, tell me something true."
I don't have the words to say something like that anymore.
"Sarah, why are you looking at me like that?"
What is the truth?
Why do we lie to ourselves,
And others?
What do we gain from keeping our silences?
Maybe one day,
Long and far into the future,
I'll see what they mean.
It's okay not to be okay.
Whether my name be
Sarah
Sarita
Or Sarah Jane.
When will it be okay not to be okay?
Will someone lie to me instead?
"You're fine, and everything will make sense."
Please tell me a sweet, beautiful lie.
And maybe someday it will become truth.
