As I am traveling home on a charter bus with my teammates, normally I would be exhausted and sleeping away the miles by this point, but all I am able to do is cherish their quiet company.
Every time my eyes close they are filled with tears.
Happy tears, cherishing my time left as an athlete. But also sad tears, thinking about how my journey is coming to an end.
I have one week of regular season left with my girls and then we hit our Region Tournament.
That leaves me with roughly one month left of softball. A month left of a sport that taught me more than I could ever imagine.
I have one month left of practicing, putting on a uniform, getting hype with my teammates, cheering for every strike out, home run, diving catch, and being on the dirt to experience it all.
The heartbreak I feel (already) is crushing. Yet it is so motivating. When I think about the games to come there is this drive to play to the best of my ability that keeps pulsing through me. To use it all while I still have the chance to do so.
But with this comes self-set expectations (along with external expectations) that can be deeply frustrating when you do not meet them.
I keep telling myself to enjoy my time left, that I play better and make better memories when I am having fun. But the dim lit, fast approaching end is giving me one hell of a challenge to do so. Each time I lace up my torn up cleats it means a little bit more.
The thought of leaving my girls to go on our separate ways is unbearable. If you think your connection with your high school team is intense, just wait for it.
Please never take your God given talent for granted. Never waste it and never question it.
If there is anything I have learned from these past two years that I wish to pass on to young athletes, it would be to trust yourself.
Trust the fact that you're good at what you do. Trust yourself to make that catch or put the ball into play. (Confidence is key; fake it until you make it)
Trust the fact that you're capable to go further with your athletic career. And please for the love of the game, GO ON. Go play the game as LONG as you can. Choosing to play collegiate softball has completely changed my life. You will not regret it.
Play as hard as you can, as long as you can. I know it is difficult, it is still difficult for me to do so. But great things come from putting your heart into everything you do.
From one athlete closing out a career, to one who is just at the beginning of theirs..
Keep going. Never stop playing and never stop growing as an athlete. The life lessons you learn and the memories you make from playing sports are incredible and they triple once you level up. Chase your dreams and please, I'm begging, do not let your talent go to waste. Use it until you have nothing left to give and your time is up.
Your love for the game will only grow; it is like falling in love with it all over again. You are capable! Do not end your career early; these emotions are so difficult to wrap your mind around, you do not want to face them until you are forced too.
If I got the chance to restart my career the only thing I would do differently is practice and play every game with such intensity that it scares others. Intensity and heart never hurt anyone.
Always remember, great things never come from comfort zones. Step outside yours!
