Hi. You probably don't know me or recognize me. This is because I'm an afterthought. I'm the girl who takes all of your pictures for you. I'm the friend you call to come get you from the bar even though you didn't invite me in the first place. I am never included in your plans.

I sit in my house and wonder why I'm never invited. I lay on my couch and think quietly to myself:

Maybe I'm just not a people person.

I'm not invited to places with people because I just don't get along with everyone. As I sit on my tattered couch, I can't help but wonder how I became this way. I work in the restaurant industry, so surely I can't not be a people person.

Am I just too sensitive?

I ponder and ponder, desperately reaching for results. It isn't until the day that I find the secret text messages and GroupMe conversations that I realize how excluded I really am.

I'm not a people person, though.

I am this way because people have made me this way. I'm the girl no one wants to take pictures with even though I worked so hard to get my makeup just right. You all complimented me and told me that I looked so good as we prepped for the bar, and yet, you still ask me to take pictures of you and your friends. I curled my hair the same way you did. I drank and danced just as much as you did.

I'm not friendly, I guess.

I'm only this way because I am a product of my surroundings. You have made me this way. I wondered when I started getting angry. I wondered when I stopped getting invited to things. I wondered when I started to become an afterthought. I'm wondering now how long it will take until I am completely forgotten about at this point.

Counting the minutes, watching the days pass by, no longer looking forward to the weekend because I know how alone I'll actually be.

And don't think I can't hear what you all say. I hear the other's words:

How does she even have a boyfriend? I feel bad for that guy.
That's the difference between you and your sister.
You just don't get along with them. Why would they invite you?

Yeah, I can hear you. I hear you loud and clear, and I resent you--each and every one of you. I didn't ask for this--I didn't ask to be this way. I didn't want to be the angry drunk girl who has to leave the bar as soon as she gets there. I also heard the way you sighed pathetically when you all saw me in the entranceway.

I paid my own cover charge. I paid for my own shots. I paid for your drinks. Why? I just wanted everyone to like me, I guess. I didn't want to be an afterthought anymore. Is that so bad?

I'm tired of being lonely, though. I'm sick of these people who can't accept me as I am; who choose to only be with me during my good times. I'm too much half of the time, I get that, but what about the times I was the one consoling you when you cried your eyes out multiple times over a guy who didn't even like you. What about the times when I was the only person who wanted to hang out with you--who kept you from self-destructing?

Maybe I'm vain. Maybe I'm conceited for only wanting to be liked. I apologize for being superficial. But you created me.

You could have just come. Everyone was invited.

Everyone except for me. I was plainly looked over. I was obviously not invited. I could tell by your half-hearted voice that I was not welcome. I saw in your half-assed actions how much you wanted me to come over. But you know what?

I don't deserve to be treated as an afterthought. I don't deserve any of this. My confidence can only go so far before it's broken on those days when you aren't around because you're too busy having fun without me. I'm not sorry anymore. I'll continue being me, and if I struggle through this world alone, so be it. I'm done being your afterthought.