It is finally being written... The story so many have been wanting to read but no one took the time to pen out. Or in this case, type out. Many people, including JK Rowling, have said it: Donald Trump is Lord Voldemort. In fact, JK Rowling said Trump is even worse than Lord Voldemort. Imagine that... A man so ruthless that only society can stop him. But will our generation get the chance to? If we go to the polls in mass numbers and vote, then maybe we will. Our generation has been more about saying things and less about doing. How about we change that right here, right now? To help you guys out, here are my comparisons of the two men and maybe... just maybe Trump supporters reading this as well will realize that this would be a very BAD IDEA to have him elected as our president.
Lord Voldemort (aka He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) was born on December 31st, 1926 which would make him 89-years-old. He's dead now, but still. Want to know who was born almost exactly 20 years after him? Oh yeah, that's right, DONALD TRUMP. Trump was born June 14th, 1946. Nearly 20 years apart, people! You can't make this stuff up. Another comparison I've heard is that Trump is really Adolf Hitler in disguise. Which could make sense since Hitler died on April 30th, 1945. Trump was then born nearly one year later. Conspiracy theory? Nonsense! They have similar political views and both have blue eyes and blonde hair. So really he's three evil villains combined. Is this who you want as president?
Back to comparing, shall we? Lord Voldemort was the son of a wealthy muggle father and a witch for a mother. Heck, they both abandoned him as a child so she is both uses of the word witch. Or you could change a letter and she'd be a... Anyways! No wonder he changed his name from Tom Riddle. He doesn't want to be associated to the two of them anymore. Plus, it was a very muggle name anyways. However, changing his nose to resemble Michael Jackson probably wasn't a good idea. He was much more attractive as a kid... just like Michael Jackson! (This is the opinion of his fan base, not my own) So, here comes Trump. There's no way they could be similar in another category, right? WRONG. Trump too was born the son of a wealthy muggle father and his mother was born in the U.K. so that automatically makes her a witch since that is where Lord Voldemort is from. Even that similarity freaked me out a bit. Any changes of heart yet? No? You're all a tough nut to crack!
As everyone knows or should know, Lord Voldemort is the most powerful and dangerous dark wizard of all time. Hands down, everyone knew it. He killed students with the use of the Chamber of Secrets when he went to Hogwarts, for crying out loud. How much more evil can you get? Oh, right, he killed Harry Potter's parents and left him to be a wealthy homeless protagonist like Batman... They both have capes so it works. Now Trump comes along to run for president of the United States of America and he is WINNING. What began as a joke to everyone is now coming all the way around and turning into a really BIG PROBLEM. Trump is the most powerful and dangerous Republican wizard of all time. How else would he be getting people to vote for him? Wait, people are voting for him because he says things people want to hear on occasion? All presidential candidates do this, though. Oh, so they vote for him because he's not a politician and has completed a lot of projects? Don't you mean all those illegal Polish immigrants completed those projects while he sat behind a desk probably writing out his donation checks to Hillary Clinton for her Democratic campaign back in 2008. That's right, people... A Republican nominee helped out a Democratic nominee. Please tell me some of you are finally rethinking your vote for Trump.
While that may be enough for some of you, I still have a few more areas to cover for the rest of you non-believers. In French, Voldemort's name means “Flight of Death” or “Escaping Death.” His biggest fear as a child was dying. So in order to make sure he didn't die, he hid pieces of his soul in seven different objects and individuals called horcruxes. However, he hid a piece of himself in Harry Potter without realizing it, and when he attempted to kill Harry in the last book, he ended up killing himself... Well, that's one way to go out with a bang... Anywho, Trump's name means to dominate, overpower, and to deceive. That seems to be what he is currently doing to the Republican party. Even they are afraid of him. All their attempts to stop his domination have failed, and if he wins on Tuesday, then he wins the Republican nomination. Goodbye, Republican party.
I am highly convinced that Donald Trump has also given himself seven different horcruxes. However, little by little it is beginning to fall apart on him. He has already lost three of his horcruxes to bankruptcies, two of them being casinos and one being the Trump Plaza Hotel in New York. Trump says the bankruptcies were good business deals, but he missed payments. That doesn't sound like good business deals to me. Adding onto that, he has Chris Christie and Sarah Palin... yes... the same Sarah Palin who said she could see Russia from her house... are both supporting Trump's campaign. If those horcruxes haven't failed yet, then they will very soon. So that's five right there. His sixth horcrux is none other than the Republican party, which will be doomed to fail if he is given the presidential nominee. The reason it is doomed to fail is because he mistakenly hid his seventh horcrux in Hillary Clinton. I know what a lot of you are saying, “WHAT?? He should be more afraid of BERNIE SANDERS". I know, I'd like to see Trump face Bernie as well, but look at the polls. Clinton is winning and will probably grab the Democratic nomination. That being said, Trump has no ground to stand on if he faces Hillary in the primary debates. She's going to destroy him just like Harry destroyed Voldemort. Trump can't answer anything in detail. It's always been about China and building a wall. So if you all think he's going to win now, have fun with that.
Which finally brings me to some small point that most people should have noticed by now. Voldemort's enemy and fate sealer was Harry Potter. Trump's enemy? Well, that would be Hillary Clinton like I just explained 10 seconds ago. Come on guys, I can sit here and write all day about these comparisons. Voldemort and Trump practically belong to the same house. Slytherin House and the Republican House are one in the same. They are run by a bunch of idiots who don't know anything. (My apologies to any Republicans out there, I am definitely trying to offend you. I'm a Democrat, it's what I do.) Anyways, other things that match are their accessories. Voldemort's wand is 13 ½ inches long and shares its core with Harry Potter's wand. Trump's toupee is the length of the top of his head from front to back which is probably around the same length as Voldemort's wand and it is probably made of some of Hillary Clinton's blonde hair since he donated so much money to her in the past. That, my lovely readers who made it to the end, is my comparisons of the two worst people I have ever had the pleasure of ripping apart in one article. Now go out and vote for Hillary Clinton or someone other than Donald Trump!
