We know the face, the hair, and the legend that is Donald Trump. For many of us, “legend” should rather be disgrace, or some other profanity; I don’t need a very convincing and factually based argument to point that out(two can play at this game, Mr. Trump). As such, Trump’s effectively got all of us asking, “Is he serious?” My wonderment, disbelief, and shock at how far this man has gotten in what is supposed to be an otherwise honorably cutthroat race to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has me truly questioning the sanity (or desperation) of our nation and media. To somehow explain Mr. Trump’s terrifying ascendence to the political stage, having zero political experience and an apparently accepted sole qualification of yelling “you’re fired”, I’ve come up with three conspiracy theories for justification.

The first theory— Donald Trump is a pulpit candidate gone rogue. A pulpit candidate is a person who is merely running for office to bring a certain issue or set of issues to center stage. He or she is generally aware that they will not receive the sufficient donor funds or followings to carry out a serious campaign, but goes forth in an effort to gather up as much media attention as possible . Many of you may remember the short lived eruption of support for Waka Flaka Flame when he announced his “bid” for the top spot. His self-proclaimed first action as president would be to legalize marijuana. Pulpit candidate. In a skewed sense, maybe Trump started out merely wanting to put er… the problem with all Mexican American immigrants, the need to rebuild infrastructure (read up on how he wants to accomplish that one), and the total illegitimacy of Washington to the center of the political landscape. If such is the case, then he’s probably the best pulpit candidate to date — which is frightening. Let’s face it, Trump has mastered media manipulation. He’s all you hear about, no matter the TV station or topic. And for some sick reason, we have generated a thirst for what Trump has to say. We may ridicule him for it later, but the need to know in and of itself is enough to keep his mojo rising. Which is dangerous, because there are apparently a growing number of people who genuinely agree.

The next two theories stem from a recent binge on 21 and 22 Jump Street. Maybe Trump is an undercover agent— more of a Jonah Hill than a Channing Tatum, but an agent nevertheless. My first theorem puts the Donald at the center of an elaborate, extreme leftist Democratic agenda to take down the Republican party. And to me, this doesn't seem like too shabby of a plan. Trump isn't a new figure to the media or general public; he has name recognition that possibly surpasses Clinton with the American population at large. As noted before, he has an incredible ability to force attention towards him. At the first Republican debate, he had almost twice as much air time as the next candidate. He simply knows what to say to create a stir. Much like the youngest sibling in a family of 5, Trump will act and say in a completely outlandish matter for yes, you guessed it, ATTENTION. He's no dummy, surprisingly enough. And so, because he is a Republican candidate (as of now?) many may parallel the ideals of the Donald with a purported illegitimacy and absurdity of the Republican party, forcing one to to question (at the hand of the Democrats behind all this) the very foundation of the GOP that would allow this man to be at its helm. On a not so extreme scale, Trump could also be used to further the claim that the Republican party is a convoluted circus as of late, subsequently making other, more legitimate candidates, seem unimportant, and dividing them on core issues.

If The Donald isn’t working for the Democrats, maybe he’s undercover for extremely conservative Republicans. The shit that comes out of Trump’s mouth is so absurd 99% of the time, that it may actually serve a reverse purpose of making some of the otherwise ridiculous platforms of other candidates seem not so crazy. Ben Carson’s pledge to not be so PC? Not seeming so bad now. Chris Christie wants to cut Social Security and reverse marijuana legalization thus far? Not great, but did you hear what Trump said about women yesterday?!?! Mhm, I see what you did there, Donald. Well played.

On a serious note, considering none of these theories are probably true, we’re left with the final, unfortunate truth. He is in fact, serious. In such case, the American people need to take a step back and realize how far we may have fallen. Donald Trump is most likely not going to be the 45th President of the United States, but he may have the alternate power, perhaps more mighty, of drowning out voices that matter and ideas that can change. Regardless of the fact that what Trump says may be what many Americans are whispering behind closed doors, we as a hopefully reasonable and effective political body cannot continue to support the notion that in politics, logic is senseless, being politically incorrect is hip, and media puppeteering is the only way to get our attention. The polls should not be a glorified popularity contest (didn’t we go through this in high school?) based on a candidate’s ability to whisper sweet nothings into the media’s ear. Rather, it needs to be an accurate reflection of who is a candidate with actual promise and merit. Until America can realize this fact and stop playing the game, we’re screwed. Be serious people, this isn't a game. (In the meantime, no fear America — this may all just be a ploy).