Last week, Donald Trump added another chapter to his ever-growing collection of blunders. In a recent interview, a reporter asked the billionaire his opinion on the shape of the Earth, to which he found himself speechless. That’s right, Donald Trump recently realized that he did not know the shape of the Earth.
“It’s just not something I’ve ever thought about,” he claimed. “It never seemed that important. I mean, we just live on it, and it’s not like I’m planning on going into space anytime soon.” But that’s where Trump was wrong, because the next day, NASA offered him the opportunity to carve his face onto the moon for a modest $500 million. Of course, he graciously accepted. “$500 million is a small price to pay for such an honor,” he said. “Everyone will be able to see my face up there in the sky, among the stars, where it belongs.”
It was at that moment that Trump decided to familiarize himself with the Earth’s shape. His plan is to figure out the exact place on Earth where the Trump Moon would cut through the night sky 24 hours a day.
Trump hired approximately 300 geologists and astronomers to figure out the Earth’s shape. One of them reported, “I think the answer to your question was determined a long time ago.” But Trump was not about to give up on his new mission. He ordered them to research twice as hard. Within the first hour of their research, the massive collection of scientists came to a conclusion.
“Yeah, the Earth is definitely round,” a different scientist said. “It hasn’t changed since, you know, ancient Greece.”
While Trump was pleased with the fact that he received results, he still remains unsure of what to do with them. He now knows that the Earth is indeed a sphere, but is no closer to knowing the perfect location to receive maximum Trump.