My entire life, I've been a people pleaser. I was raised to always do the right thing, be kind and give to others. For the most part, I didn't mind being the girl that was "too nice" or the person everyone came to for everything. I enjoyed doing the Christian thing and being caring and considerate.
However, as I got older, I realized (the hard way, I might add), that life isn't always about other people. Don't get me wrong, it's not a good thing to be selfish. But sometimes, there are instances in life when YOU have to do what is right for YOU, and only you.
When I was in high school, I was constantly worrying about what others thought of me or what kind of impression I would bestow. Being in a tiny, private Catholic school made this essential for survival. I felt as if I always had to put on a show; making sure my skirt was the appropriate length, I wasn't wearing too much makeup, if my grades weren't high enough to get into the top university. Not to mention, anytime I tried doing something fun or just being a teenager, I was looked at as a "bad" Catholic, and above all, that type of shame is the worst.
During my sophomore year of college, I was still trying to impress someone I thought cared about me, even if it meant compromising what I wanted. "Don't transfer," he said. "If you do, I can't stay with you. I don't do long distance relationships." I'm also not a blonde, southern belle in the top tier sorority, and I don't have a perfect GPA. I thought I knew what I was doing in school, but that was only because I thought I had to look smart in front of him. I felt like I had to live up to certain expectations for him to keep saying "I love you," and mean it.
After these instances, particularly my sophomore year of college, I had to take action in my life. And I'm damn glad I did. I finally was able to make my own decisions about what I WANTED TO DO. I was able to take a semester off from school and figure out what I really wanted to study. I transferred to a great new school and fell in love with their social work program, and found a sisterhood in Pi Beta Phi. I've thought about turning around and looking back, but I'm just not going that way.
You don't have to impress anyone but yourself. At the end of the day, this is YOUR life. Going to bed miserable and waking up to live the same thing every day is no way to live. Don't base decisions that affect your life on others, because if they truly care, they will not try to sway you their way; they will support you and still be a part of your life. I can actually say for once I'm proud of myself for how much I've accomplished and far I've come. Do it for you without anyone else's (especially a significant other's) approval.
