In the generation of "Say Yes To The Dress" and social media, where we can find an endless number of engagement ring photos and proposal videos, sometimes it may seem like we are being left behind or missing out on the whole marriage experience. Although it is almost impossible not to become enamored at the sight of these announcements, the constant reminder of being a maiden can sometimes take a toll on a woman’s conscience. So here’s a question. Does the expectation of marriage put pressure on a woman?
This question can be answered in a number of ways, depending on who you are asking. Because of that, I try to be very open-minded when giving my stance on issues that we face as people. A lot of things come to play when the topic of marriage arises. Some of those things include: moralistic values, religious beliefs, culture, personal preferences and a number of other variables that could possibly make answering this question with a simple yes or no difficult.
On a no note, as I’ve encountered more women of various backgrounds, it has become apparent to me that an unrealistic image has been painted showing that “getting married” should be on a woman’s bucket list. Surprisingly to some, there are women who, for one reason or another, are not longing to be wed at all. It does not matter what those reasons are, but there are women who have made it up in their minds that this is something that does not strike her as desirable. Once that conclusion has been reached, the years start rolling by and conversations of the future take place with questions such as “Do you want to get married?” However, a woman who is secure in that decision should not allow conversations on traditional Holy matrimony to make her feel antsy.
On a yes note, factors such as religion play a major role on a woman’s longing to be someone’s wife. Sexual intercourse and having children, which are supposed to be reserved for married couples, is happening more than not in unwed relationships. Living in sin is not a preference over having an honest woman made of you, but let’s be real, waiting for a man to fully commit can be like watching paint dry. Having the desire to live according to the word of God plays an import role, but before that point is reached you must first fall in love. I know plenty of women who are in love with love itself. Plenty who fantasize over the thought of loving one person for the rest of their lives. These two go hand in hand when it comes to fueling someone’s desire to become a wife.
Let’s get a little more personal. I definitely feel pressured to get married. Not because it’s the thing to do or because everyone around me is doing so, but because I have found myself wandering down a path that I did not expect to be on. I fall into the category of the hopeless romantic who is in love with love. The true longing to be someone’s wife came about after I had given birth to my son. Before then, I was living a fast-paced life as a single person whose only responsibility was to take care of themselves. I had the desire to get married but it was in the back of my mind. Somewhere around where I store my mental reminders to get the oil in my car changed.
Within that “pre-baby” era, I knew that I did not want to be a single mother, but at some point during my fast paced life, irresponsibility got a hold of me along with unfulfilled promises and dreams that I was buying for a dime a dozen (another story, for another post, for another day). Having a baby revealed the true beauty of being a mother to me and that’s a beauty that I would love to share with my husband.
Yes, our biological time clocks are constantly ticking. Yes, we may grow impatient. Yes, sometimes that pressure evokes uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. However, in all of this, it is important for those who desire us to remember that patience is a virtue, especially with something as sacred and delicate as marriage. Pressure creates diamonds and the growth obtained throughout the process will be beneficial. Await your future husband.
