“Stop shaming me for partying.” “Stop shaming me for my boyfriend.” “Stop single shaming.” “Stop shaming my college.” “Stop shaming my conservative views.” “Stop shaming my liberal views.” “Stop basic shaming.” Whatever the heck that means.

It makes me burn up inside realizing these authors are my peers. While I understand the motives for publishing these articles, I think they’re an embarrassment to my generation: Millennials.

The problem with some Millennials is that we need to play the victim to justify a way of life. This is because some of us care too much about what people think and feel the need to fit in no matter what. Those people just need to be reminded that no one can please everyone. There will always be people who disagree and don’t like you. Those people don’t have to have a place in your life. Just tell them that they don’t understand for whatever reasons there are, that you don’t care what they think and that they don’t have to have a place in your life. Life is too short for negativity so just drop them.Surround yourself with people who agree with you, understand you and deserve a place in your life. Instead of wasting time writing an article as the victim trying to justify yourself for your ways.

You shouldn’t have to justify yourself for how you choose to live your life, so don’t let the shame bother you. Stick up for yourself when the shame is direct, but you’re only a victim if you allow it. And you’re are allowing it by publicly writing an article to justify something others don’t agree with. Everyone is entitled to living their lives the way they choose, and if that’s the way you choose to live and you’re happy, just keep living that way. Anyone who doesn’t understand, disagrees or shames you don’t need to have significance in your life. If they shame you, it’s because they want to be a bully. We’ve been taught how to deal with bullies and playing the victim hoping to make them feel bad isn’t one of them.

That being said, if playing the victim is how you choose to live then go ahead. I don’t believe it’s a good thing and I don’t know anyone thinks it’s a good thing. Since you’re entitled to living that way and if that makes you happy, go right ahead. With this article, I’m discouraging playing the victim because I don’t believe it’s good. That’s just my perspective and I’m not expecting everyone to agree, so please don’t start writing negative responses as to why I’m wrong.

Some might argue that “Stop Shaming” articles are sticking up for themselves. True, but you’re still playing the victim. By acknowledging the shame publicly, you’re a victim. It’s one thing to write an article describing why you are the way you are and what it’s like to be that way. Only describing. Once you say that it’s okay to be that way and that shame needs to stop, you’re playing the victim. Because you have to publicly announce why your way is acceptable, and you’re looking for acceptance in places it doesn’t exist. Nor do you need it, there is acceptance elsewhere. In my article about being a second generation american, I describe the hardships I faced from being multicultural. I don’t directly say how I was victimized, but it’s obvious that I was and I wrote it to give perspective on why it’s wrong to say certain things. I don’t directly shame people for being rude to me, I just say how it makes me feel. I also acknowledge everyone who made America my home to add positivity. I only hope that it gives someone else perspective about how someone can be offended and hope that they don’t want to be a bully by saying things like that.

The people who write the articles with controversial topics should have a disclaimer saying its not to offend anyone but to share a perspective. For example in my “20 Years Single” article, I said “Please know I’m not writing to shame anyone in a relationship during high school, college or any other critical time of their life. I’m simply stating why I chose not have one because I’ve seen many things happen, and I’m sharing it with you only to put some things into perspective because I feel that a lot of heartbreaks happen because someone doesn’t see these things as possibilities, or they don’t know themselves well enough to realize there are obstacles like this.” And a sentence later I say “I’m only saying it’s not for everyone, and I’m one of those.” At the end I have some advice on what to think about before getting into a relationship to avoid the heartbreaks I’ve seen. It’s just one perspective, I’m not expecting everyone to agree with it. I just want to share experiences and advice for anyone looking for it. It's all based on what I’ve seen and I never say “Don’t do it because I didn’t do it because I know it’s bad.” I realize it’s a controversial topic and the last thing I want is to offend anyone or tell them how to live because that isn’t my place.

What I’m saying is, we also shouldn’t try to write articles to shame someone. That would be telling someone how to live their life and that is no one’s decision but theirs. Making someone the victim is also a way of life someone can choose, but it’s a way that can affect relationships negatively because they’re being a bully. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions but in a diverse society like ours, it’s hard to be successful in jobs and relationships if you can’t put your differences aside and just accept someone. Even if you do, it’s still not possible to please everyone. But you won’t be labeled as a bully. I can’t think of any good reason as to why someone would want to be labeled as a bully.

Here are my ideas for solutions if you don’t want to be a victim or bully and be a more positive writer overall:

Stop writing the writing articles that start with “Stop Shaming” to justify something. Just explain that lifestyle instead and leave it at that. Whoever agrees can stay in your life and whoever doesn’t shouldn’t have to. You’re playing the victim.

Stop writing articles criticize a lifestyle you don’t agree with. If it doesn’t affect you, you shouldn’t care enough to write an article telling someone what to do. You’re the bully.

Write articles to explain and then share them with everyone who matters and make them relatable with examples. You’re just sharing perspective on how something makes you feel.

Write positive articles about things in your life instead of tearing someone down. To avoid being a bully or victim.

Outside of the articles, make the change you want to happen. So that others are accepted the way they deserve to be and don’t receive the shame you received. Don’t be the reason someone writes a “Stop Shaming” article and don’t be the one writing one.