To learn vital lessons in life you will meet all different types of people. Their will come a time when you find yourself the acquaintance of someone who I like to call a “joy stealer" I know, it is not the most creative name but it works. These people are manipulative, unstable, emotional, and are usually moving from one crisis to the next.
Most of our acquaintances are convenient and a part of our everyday lives whether it be someone who runs in the same circle as you, someone who works with you, etc., you just can’t seem to avoid them. You find yourself getting nothing out of this friendship, and often in turn you end up feeling bad about yourself because they point out the negatives about you. Every once in a while when they need something, you find yourself in the middle of a manipulative flattery storm. They text, call, or show up giving compliments of every sort, mostly focusing in on your weaknesses.
They know you’re trying to lose weight? It just so happens to be on the day that their significant other breaks up with them, you receive twelve texts and an email saying how “skinny," "perfect," and "beautiful” you are. Then shortly after you are blinded by flattery they sneak up with about fifteen texts about how their significant other broke up with them, and all of a sudden you are trapped in a negativity ridden situation, and you end up having to listen to someone who is never there for you all because you feel bad.
It’s not until after, that you realize exactly how the chain of events occurred. They don’t really think you look thin today, they just needed someone to listen to their negative chain of disastrous events in their life that happen over and over, and are for some reason their problem is now your problem even though you live a nearly drama free life. If you express that you’re having a good day because you got a promotion they will tell you that position sucks, or if someone compliments you in front of them, they will point out the one flaw that you managed to not think about today. It is a vicious cycle, and it can be never ending if you let it.
Now that you find yourself upset, and feel bad about yourself you begin to realize that you can’t escape "joy stealers" for the most part because they run in the same circle as you. You know for your own sanity you need to cut them off. Even though there will most likely be some dramatic occurrence, you know you need to break your ties to this type of negativity, you are ready to make a clean break and enjoy your positive life again.
You go back and forth because you’re a good person and you feel bad cutting someone off because it’s a messy, dramatic, thing to do. You guilt yourself because you are better than the type of people that give up on people who tend to be hard to love, but you realize there is also a very big difference between people who need love and patience and people who need all of your energy and thoughts.
No matter what, once a joy stealer realizes they are being cut off they will freak out. They will beg for your attention in every which way imaginable. Don’t give in. They are narcissistic. They will try to get your attention until they get any type of response from you. Forget the good times and remember all the hurt and negativity this has caused in your life, and do something where you only think about what would be best for yourself.
It will be awkward at first and that is okay, and it is actually very normal. Don’t let the flattery, convenience, or even the loneliness draw you back. Stay strong in your convictions. Before you know it you will just be another friend apart of their turnover rate. Although you will feel like you may have wasted a lot of time and energy on a dead end situation, you will have your peace of mind back, and that is precious. Better late than never.
Be selective with who’s in your life. You only get one. Protect your peace of mind and what you stand for. Someone only points out what is wrong about you because they can’t handle what’s right with you. You have fought very hard to be the person you have become today, don’t let anyone make you forget that.
