Today I dropped my phone through a bench. Actually, no, let's be precise, I dropped my phone through a bench that had an underside that was, well, less than accessible, and then I had to go to class, so my friends constructed a 7-foot pole of sorts with which to retrieve it.
While this entire thing was pretty ridiculous, it seems a little too normal to me at this point in contrast with all of the other equally, if not more spastic and ridiculous things I do on a daily basis.
So to lighten the mood a bit, and perhaps give any readers with finals looming over their heads a quick smile- here's my question--
Do these things ever happen to you?
Here's a list of some, for lack of a more appropriate word, dip-sh$t things I have done; I'm curious if anyone has any rivals--
1. Walk around with your backpack unzipped.
Letting it all hang out- or something? It's not too cute when my accounting notebook is flapping around behind me.
2. Trip on everything.
Sometimes I am just walking down the street and I'll be like on the phone or something and just fall off the side. Or trip. Or roll my ankle a bit and then run away so as to remain inconspicuous- or not.
3. Walk into things.
I have zero depth perception and often run into signs, shelves in the grocery store, shelves in the house, or even shelves with ten million water bottles on them in Nordstrom. Good thing I didn't make them fall.
4. Nearly walk out of the store wearing merchandise you were trying on.
Yesterday I was trying on some jeans and there's the little alarm that is only supposed to go off if you leave the store in them, but instead, it decided to go off while I was pulling them on, which of course alerted the sales girl to come take them from me. I had to yell through the changing room door- "I don't have any clothes on!!" Cute.
5. Crack your voice like a child at the worst moments.
One time I got all excited to answer a question in class, and I raised my hand and everything, and got through half of the first word before my voice cracked like a ten-year-old boy, at which point I tried to clear my throat, which turned into this spastic coughing, and I ended up sounding like I was definitely suffering from a case of whooping cough. This was all prior to actually answering the question, of course. Also cute. Also ridiculous.
6. Accidently climb into your roommate's bed.
For the final excitement of this article, I share possibly my most embarrassing moment with you all. You see, I don't talk to my roommate. Like at all. On any given week we maybe exchange one sentence. So this one morning, I woke up, and I wasn't in my bed. I had no idea where I was, but I definitely was not on my side.
I looked over, and I realized I was sleeping RIGHT NEXT TO my roommate. On HER BED. It later became apparent that I had apparently been sleep walking, though how I ended up sleepwalking there I really have no idea. At least we only have two more weeks together I guess...
So here's to my embarrassing moments, and hopefully yours too. Either you're sitting reading this right now thinking we have to be best friends because you identify with me on a crazy level, or you are thinking- wow, this girl is more ridiculous than anyone I have ever met.
Either way, I hope this provided a little laugh on your Monday.
And hey, it's probable that no one even noticed me doing this stuff- right??
