It seems like a simple message. Be happy. Do the things that make you happy. At times, it can be easier said than done. Judgement and people’s opinions get in the way of doing what makes you feel happy. We are too caught up in making sure other people don’t get hurt, or we care too much about what others will say about our choices.

Here’s the thing. People are going to judge you anyway. That is just how people are. They are going to hate you for a reason even if they have to make it up, just because they want to. They will find any reason to take that happiness away just because they can. You can’t control people. But you can control yourself.

Don’t stoop to that level—that is where happiness is not found. Happiness is not found in belittling others to build yourself up. Happiness is not found in making fun of others. Happiness is not found in hating others because they are different from you. Unhappiness stems from not understanding others.

We think we know people, and we make quick judgements. But you know the basic saying: “You know my name, not my story,” (and even though that was everyone’s Instagram caption at least once…) it holds truth.

You don’t know what people are going through. And we are the type of people that will hate a person until something tragic happens—and then we decide to be kind. Why does it take these extreme circumstances for you to just be kind? You never know what a person is going through. I’ve faked smiles and so have you. So why are you putting people down when you don’t even know them?

If you care about these people’s opinions I want you to do what makes you happy. I felt too unhappy for too long because I cared. I cared about the people who were going to search for reasons to put me down. You can’t satisfy everyone. So do what makes you happy.

Try not to listen to what people say. It’s hard but possible. Put your phone away. Go for a run. Drink coffee. Read Harry Potter. Those little things that make you happy matter.