We all remember our first day at college. For me, it was getting into an orientation group and getting to know my fellow peers. Orientation was our initiation into college, and a large part of that initiation was learning about consent. People were rolling their eyes. After all, we know what consent is. We’re not stupid.
With the Brock Turner rape case in the news, I have recently heard the question brought up: Do we live in a rape culture?
On my first day of college, I felt safe at my college. My university was not known for girls getting raped. But one day when I was reading my campus newspaper, I read about a senior at Hamline University who reported her sexual assault and the University did very little. The school that had spent three days teaching us about consent didn’t treat her with the authority and respect this girl deserved. They couldn’t fill her very simple requests. Within the year, I had heard about two more sexual assaults. Sure we have big blue buttons around campus to push if you don’t feel safe, but where is the big blue button when someone is getting raped in a dorm room?
I would like to clear up that rape is rarely sexual. Rape is more often than not about power. It's not because she is wearing that short dress or he is passed out drunk, it's because someone wants to control them.
One in four women get raped and that makes me so scared. I think about my three best friends and think that statistically, one of us will get raped.
What if that person is me?
Our culture perpetuates rape in many subtle ways. By teaching girls to be delicate princesses and boys that they should be rough and get dirty and “be little boys,” we are teaching children that boys are stronger than girls.
These kids get to school and the boys are being mean to the girls.
“You throw like a girl!”
“Stop being such a girl.”
This is the language of misogyny and if a girl brings it up, she's told that he has a crush on her. A fucking crush?! No wonder so many women are in bad relationships; our culture taught them that it's okay for men to abuse women, verbally and sexually.
Rape jokes teach us that people don’t take rape seriously. Lets all laugh about rape, while your friend who has PTSD - which 50 percent of rape survivors experience - and is silent but dying inside. Are rape jokes even actually funny? Do people realize exactly what they’re laughing about? They’re laughing about a man or woman who is put in a situation where they cannot escape, whether it's because they are physically unable or emotionally unable, motivated by fear. With social media, there are memes that are viewed and shared by millions of people like this:
There are songs that perpetuate the roles our culture has created for men and women. Take a look at the role women play in music videos and songs. Women are seen as a jumble of sexual body parts whereas men are seen as a whole person. In lyrics, women are often seen as an accessory to men.
The whole legal system surrounding rape is evidence of the rape culture we live in. We live in a world where a 47-year-old teacher was sentenced to 30 days in prison for raping a 14-year-old girl. But she looked older than 14 so it's okay, right? That 14-year-old girl went on to commit suicide. When someone reports rape, they’re a liar. They want attention. They’re just trying to ruin some guys life. They cheated on their boyfriend and said it was rape. For once, it would be nice if every single person on earth believed that maybe someone actually got raped.
Yes, rape culture is real and it is thriving. Do your part to help end it. Our society needs to collectively stop victim blaming, and give these rapists serious sentences for their serious crimes. Create a system for survivors to feel safe telling someone about what has been done to them. Stop sexualizing women. Individual actions create our society, so create a society you want to live in.
