In the midst of a relationship, it can be difficult to judge a boyfriend with a level head. There are several reasons you might have a hard time facing reality, and they really are quite common. You may be in the honeymoon phase, where he could seemingly do no wrong for the rest of your fairytale ending. You may be wrapped up in how public it all is, making sure that everyone on the outside is pleased with how your relationship is going. You may be too reminiscent of the past or too eager for the future to pay attention to the present. Whatever it is, you're probably making excuses along the lines of, "Well he's been really busy," or "Maybe it's because I said something wrong."

I'm here to tell you that making excuses is not healthy for either of you. It's time to respect yourself enough to take off the rose colored lenses and take a look at how you feel. What progress is being made by living in a weird cloud of, "We'll be so perfect in a few years," or "I remember how fun it was when we fell in love"? If you don't take some time to live in the moment and truly take care of yourself, you're only going to find yourself worse off in the end. Also, it's not just you that'll be hurt. He'll spend forever wondering why his same old actions from the past two years all of a sudden weren't cutting it anymore, and you'll spend forever trying to think of how to explain that you just took that long to realize who he really was. So let's save you both the trouble and look at what you deserve right now.

Right now and forever you are a fearfully and wonderfully made creation in God's image. You are to be loved as Christ loves the church, you are to be praised, and you are to be respected. Is your relationship glorifying God in these ways? Christ's love for the church seems to be pretty unbeatable, but the word tells us that's what we deserve. How crazy is it that we deserve a love of that magnitude? He should be bringing up great things about you and loving you well even when you aren't around. If his friends don't know anything about you, that might be a sign he isn't passionate about you. If he moves the conversation along and changes the subject when others mention you, what does that say about how he feels? You deserve an honest love, and that means being loved all the time, not just when you're alone together. (Or better yet, only over text messages. Are we in middle school?)

Is he encouraging you? If he's constantly asking you to do things differently, it could mean one of two things. He has your best interest at heart and wants to ensure that you're reaching your potential (bonus points for him), or he isn't actually happy with who you are, and instead of admitting he would rather look for someone else, he's trying to force you to be his ideal girl (no bueno). If you want to know his intentions, the best way to find them is by asking him to honestly tell you what they are. Also, it may be easy to catch on just by listening to what he says. Is he referring to you or to himself when he criticizes you? If it's all about, "Oh, I hate when you do this," and not, "If you tried this, it might help," then it's easy to see that he's just trying to mold you. Don't be molded. That was God's job when he created you, and he's doing a fine job already.

Be respected by yourself first and foremost. Take the time to look at how he makes you feel and make sure that you're happy and being loved well. (I know he probably ends every text with those familiar three words, but know there is a way to be loved and a way to be loved well.) If he isn't treating you the way God intended for you to be treated, do not settle. God's plan for you is perfectly thought out, so make sure to turn to the word and pray through every step of a relationship to make sure it's truly what he thinks you deserve in this life. You are loved first by him, so take comfort in that. You are worth it.