Over the years, I have constantly complained about little things about myself.

The cellulite on my thighs has got to go. My chest makes me look bigger. My forehead is huge. My arms look too big in this shirt.

Then, I noticed some of my friends criticize their body the way I did and the negativity they had towards themselves really upset me. Most of the time, I had no idea how they saw what they did because it was not what I saw on their bodies. It made me start thinking about how and why I complain about myself, especially to others. By complaining, we draw attention to something that most likely does not look like how we explain it to be. We are so self-conscious and hard on ourselves but why are we?

Is it because the guy at the bar chose to hit on your friend, who is smaller than you, instead of you?

Is it because a girl on your Instagram page takes the “perfect” pictures that makes her look happy because that is how she gets hundreds of likes?

Did those size 4 jeans fit at American Eagle but not Target?

Is it because of magazines that portray people who are extremely edited?

Did you get bullied in high school because you did not look like the “others?”

The list could go on and on about why we choose to be hard on ourselves. It is easy to change to “fit in” more with what society wants, which is where you lost. You do things like change your hair color, stop eating and use an infinite amount of whitening strips to look like what you think is what you should look like. Do you change because you do not receive some form of attention you want or because you are truly not comfortable? If you change in regards to attention, you are seeking attention from shallow people. I want you to remember that pictures are altered, sizes mean nothing, as they vary from company to company, and there is not one ideal look. You are comparing yourself to someone through a filter, a celebrity who devotes their life to working out or has money for plastic surgery, or someone whose body is simply built differently than yours.

If you research, women’s bodies in advertisement has not made as much progress as we’d like. Those advertisements are something we are going to have to look past; we cannot let them win. Also, social media is always going to be a thing but remember what I previously said, you cannot compare yourself to someone through a filter, who may have altered their picture. People portray things on social media that come nowhere close to how they actually look or feel; they want to convince us that they are happy and that their face is actually that smooth, with no freckles or acne. If you have not caught on yet, there are editing apps that many people use, unfortunately. Like I said, people strive for some ideal look but while they do that, they cause someone else who is looking to aim for something that does not exist.

Next time you complain about something on your body or go to edit your picture, keep in mind what the writer, Paulo Coelho, tweeted, “Perfect people aren’t real, real people aren’t perfect, so you must decide either to hate me for my flaws or to love me for being real.” Learn to love those flaws, no matter what other people say.