I have a beautiful friend that I see a few times a week for breakfast, or lunch, a real gem. For the sake of anonymity her name is Jill. Over the last year that we have known one another our conversations have covered a wide range of topics. A frequent topic of discussion is romance and the woes that come with it. At lunch today she was regaling me with recent tales of men's attempts to woo her. One item stuck in my mind throughout the day. One person messaged her the classic, "You're hot." This man met Jill and found her striking. Between first meeting her, and this message he thought about what he would say to grab her attention. No doubt he wanted to stand out among the other suitors vying for her attention. "You're hot," is the best that he could come up with.
Similarly, in writing, the hook is a device used in the opening line to grab a reader's attention. Men desire the opportunity to go on a date with a gorgeous lady. What he says first is the hook to draw a woman's attention and let her know if it is worth her time to give that attention. Time is one commodity that can not be returned. Opening with "you're hot," sends the message that her body is interesting, but not her as a person per say. Compliment her sweater, her shoes, or her hair, but do not treat her from the start as an object of your lust. If she reacts well to the compliment, ask her to dinner.
Additionally, during a separate but related conversation, Jill recounted how a first date took her to a movie. The movie theatre is never an acceptable first date. If your opening statement is the hook, the first date is the introductory paragraph. The introductory paragraph tells her why she should read your essay further. Take her to dinner, nothing too pricey, the focus of the dinner is not the food but the conversation. Invest in each other, learn about the other person. By the conclusion of dinner two people will know if there is a second date in the future. This is impossible if two people stare silently for two hours at a theatre screen.
Unfortunately, this is not the exception; I hear similar stories from other friends. Spend time scrolling through Facebook or Instagram to see "men" commenting similar flatteries on a lady's picture. Class, is out. Look around as you eat dinner in a restaurant, and you will find a husband or boyfriend playing with his phone across from a beautiful lady. At some point men threw away the notion of being a gentleman. In this technological age that has everyone plugged in, there is little investment. Imagine how your relationship would improve if these basic guidelines were followed.
Men, I challenge you this week to take your significant other out to dinner. Talk to her over dinner and show her what she means to you. Go out and do something fun with each other that requires interaction. Open the door for her all night, pull her chair out for her. These show her just what you think of her. She is not a cup of coffee, she is your best friend, your help mate, the lover of your soul. Act like it.
