I am constantly seeing posts on social media such as, "Divorce is not an option for me once I get married," and “Parents should stay together for their children.” I completely agree that divorce should never be considered an option in the beginning of a relationship, especially in newlywed couples. Why think about divorce when you just vowed to spend the rest of your life together? So no, I’m not saying that newlywed couples should have a “plan” for if they ever get divorced, but a person should also never feel trapped in a relationship if feelings change. No child deserves to grow up in a broken home; divorce may not always be a solution, but it is always an option.
Now, I myself have never been married (or divorced); however, I completely understand that divorce is extremely traumatic and life changing. People are constantly changing, feelings change, and relationships wither away. As a nineteen year old girl, that grew up with parents who bickered more often than not, I am able to honestly say that I was wishing for my parents to get divorced and was happy when they did. Does it make me upset that my (future) children will not be able to go over to "grandma and grandpa's" house? Not at all. They will have separate family members to visit at two different, loving, homes.
The controversial topic that couples with children should not divorce because it is best for the children if they stay together is one topic that I find easily debatable. I believe (110 percent) that divorce is sometimes the best option for the couple and the best option for the children. No child should be forced to grow up in a home full of hatred and fighting; what good is it to force a relationship that simply is not going to work? A couple staying together for the sole reason of "it's best for the kids" is something I will never support. I definitely cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I am happy that I grew up within two loving, peaceful homes rather than being stuck in one that was full of negativity.
Children’s brains are like sponges and it does not take long for them to absorb what’s happening around them. They could easily begin to relate “mommy and daddy” to “fighting and anger.” My parents did not divorce until I was in eighth grade and up until that point, fighting was normal to me. A “family” is not the same as a group of people pretending that everything's "A-okay". In a way, I believe that my parents believed this too, because they did not pretend that everything was okay. They were always honest with us and kept us involved once the divorce itself became underway.
Do not get me wrong, I did NOT have a "bad" childhood by any means. My childhood was an absolute blessing and I would not change a thing even if given the option. I do not believe that my parents staying together until my eighth grade year was the "wrong" choice on their part. They did their absolute best to shield us from the conflicts while they were occurring. The point that I am trying to make is that no one has ever said that a mother and father have to be married to be considered a family.
When my parents divorced, there was no court appearance to determine child custody. We worked out a schedule together as a family and it was decided that my brothers and I would be able to choose where we wanted to be, and when we wanted to be there. I believe that this is honestly one of the best choices that a divorcing family can make, especially a family with younger children. No child wants the memory of being fought over in a custody battle; a divorce should be made as smooth and painless as possible.
When it's all said and done, nothing makes me happier than seeing my parents be happy. There is nothing on the earth that I care more about than my parents. They may not be together, but they continue to go above & beyond to ensure that my older brothers & I are given the best lives possible. Sometimes people are just simply not “meant to be” and I would never hold that against them."
