I never believed in divorce, because I thought anything you mess up on, you can always fix. That was me at 8. Now that I’m 18, my perception of divorce has changed. Thankfully, I am no longer as naïve as I was and have encountered more real-life experiences. I have seen some of the most loving marriages, along with some completely toxic ones. Being a product of divorced or separated parents, makes you stronger, even if it does not seem that way at first.

I was packing up all the boxes, getting ready to go to college and taking my life to a completely different state. At the same time, my mom was doing the same but she was headed somewhere even further. After my second week at school, I would come to find out that she left for Florida. This meant my parents were now officially separated. Considering I was closest to my mom in the family, I was devastated. I sobbed the last weekend I had with her, the last moment we had was when she dropped me off at the train station.

Unfortunately, I had to get used to being the new mom of the family. Living with my dad and brother, I felt like the odd one out. Whenever I left college and went home for a weekend, I felt a little off. I just continuously thought, “how come mom didn’t bring home bagels? It’s Sunday, there’s always bagels.” Thankfully, I think my dad started to catch on and realized he needed to take a step up.

He started doing more, taking the roles of both my mom and dad. He did all of the shopping, made dinner, had movie nights, and always had bagels on Sunday. Although, it wasn’t the same as mom, I liked it. I gained a new liking for my dad and brother, having more one on one time. We had dinner whenever I came home, and spent time together. I still kept in touch with my mom, and stopped getting mad at her.

I’m not saying I hate my mom, I’m just saying that we grew a little distant since she left. I was trying to start my life by going away to college. And being the first to go to college, definitely put a lot of pressure on me. Imagine struggling with your GPA, making new friends, adjusting to a new school and now the burden of having your parents separated. This was not an easy task to get through, but I am getting through it.

I’m here to tell you I think this made me stronger. Actually, I know it did. Of course I hated being the one who had to grocery shop and do laundry, but part of me liked the pressure and responsibility. School and a new life is difficult, but you are stronger than your parents weaknesses. Don’t let this define your future relationships. Look at it with strength and positivity. You can be better than them, plus you’ll get double the gifts on holidays.

Living through a divorce is hard, but take it from me, you will be OK. You might get mad hearing about perfect families, but you are more than that. Every bump in the road makes you a better driver. Try not to think about the negatives. Sometimes distance is the best thing you can have, it gives room to grow.