In today’s society, sadly enough, divorce is becoming more and more common. I grew up in a split household and my parents divorced when I was five or younger; I don’t really remember exactly when. I surely cannot remember why my parents decided to separate, or who really called it off. But what I do remember is all of the different things that my sisters and I grew used to while growing up with our divorced parents.
The most dominant thing in my mind as a child of divorced parents is the “every other weekend” schedule. We lived with my mom throughout the week and then they switched off every other weekend. When making plans with friends as we grew older, the first thing I would do was check out a calendar to figure out which parent I would be with that weekend. That usually decided whether or not I would be able to hang out with friends or go to a sporting event. This was really irritating to me growing up. Although, I understand that both parents want and deserve their time with their kids, why did it seem that we had to miss stuff because it was “dad’s weekend, and he has plans” or “mom’s weekend and we have to babysit” or whatever?
The next memorable thing about having divorced parents is the holidays. I still deal with this every single stinking holiday. Growing up, holidays were usually split. If we spent Christmas Eve at dad’s, we would get to mom’s around 10:00 a.m. in the morning on Christmas morning. If it wasn’t split, they would just switch the holidays every year. Mom gets us Thanksgiving, dad gets us Fourth of July, and so on. Then the next year, it all switches. Now being 20 (and as adult as I am), I am still dealing with holidays being an issue. Both sides of the family obviously have their own celebrations, oftentimes around the same times on the same days. My sisters and I are constantly trying to figure out how to best divide our time to spend time with both sides of the family. By the end of the day, we’re exhausted. But hey, having two birthday parties every year was an added bonus.
Another hard thing was scheduling. Planning vacations or out of town trips was always a hassle. It was like pulling teeth to make a change to the already laid-out schedule. Growing up it was like our parents constantly were battling over us kids, and it could get quite uncomfortable. My sisters and I would usually be the ones passing messages from one parent to the next, instead of them talking face to face.
Divorced parents oftentimes do not get along so well, and the kids hear far too much about it. Whatever one parent does wrong, the other parent makes sure not to do and makes sure to announce the error. This back and forth continues on and on. You know what this taught my little divorced-parents-childish brain? Block it all out. Develop your own opinions of your parents based on what you observe and what you know. Don’t let one parent’s view of the other block yours.
Although divorce wasn’t always easy on my sisters and I, it taught me a lot of valuable lessons. The major lesson that I will never forget is, that family is forever. No matter how different a family may seem after a divorce, it is still family. Your dad is still your dad. Your mom is still your mom. They just live in different houses and do things a little bit differently. The second is that your siblings will be your best friends, because honestly, they’re the only ones who truly understand the situation that you’re in. Every divorce is different for every couple and for the kids involved. Depend on your siblings and be there for each other. I can’t imagine growing up without them. Like I said earlier, create your own opinions and learn from your own experiences. Don’t let someone else fill your brain with their opinions without having evidence to back it. And lastly, understand that sometimes marriage just doesn’t work out right. Your parents still love you. It might seem hard now, but a storm can’t last forever.
