Divorce affecting their children's relationships | The Odyssey Online
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Relationships

X Millennials admit How their Parents’ Divorce Affects Their Relationships

Find the silver lining, people.

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X Millennials admit How their Parents’ Divorce Affects Their Relationships

With the divorce rate being about 50% in the United States, it is not unusual to find a friend who can relate to my circumstances. My parents divorced when I was about five, so having two of every holiday, birthday and graduation is second nature. I usually try to seek the unseen benefit in many situations and believe it or not, I found a few things about my parents' failed marriage that has helped me when it comes to relationships:

1. Pride will kill you.

Alright, as human beings we can all be a bit stubborn. I am the offspring of the two most stubborn people who would often struggle with the statement, "Hey, you know what, you're right. I'm sorry." Observing my parents' marriage and picking it apart, you know what I learned? Nine times out of ten, these two people were not willing to put their pride aside. They would listen to respond – not listen to understand. THAT is a recipe for disaster in any relationship. Next time you're in an argument and you can't even remember what started it, take two steps back and ask yourself, "Does this really matter?" because odds are it probably doesn't. If you still don't understand, listen to "PRIDE" by Kendrick Lamar – he'll break it down for you.

2. Got an issue? Talk about it.

Ahhh, the old "Communication is key" phrase. Guess what guys? This ancient saying will continue to thrive because it is the one thing that all couples can agree on – effective communication. Looking at my parents, I saw one thing missing: the desire to "talk about it." If there is a problem on either party, talk about it. Find a way to make it work. If there is a strong foundation of respect between you and the other person, then there will always be a way to find a solution. Bottom line.

3. Pump the brakes.

Living the "divorced parents" lifestyle has embedded an appetite to take my time. Why get married young? Take advantage of the fact that you only have one person to answer to and that is yourself. I can't stress this concept enough: We have SO. MUCH. TIME. Our 20's are here to teach us who we are and who we aspire to be. Give yourself enough time to live YOUR life and experience things from your own perspective. See what you want, what you like and don't like. Figure out where you want your life to go. Experiencing the aftermath of a divorce made me certain of one thing: take your sweet time because we have our whole lives to be married. Stop worrying about our cultures pre-set agenda of the need to be married by 25. Life is incredible – go live it on your own first.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

6 Unrealistic Expectations Society Has For Young Adults

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

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Well over four feet tall and 100 pounds in weight, many of us "young adults" of the world still consider ourselves children. Big, working, college-attending, beer-drinking children. We may live on our own, know how to cook noodles, and occasionally use a planner, but don't be fooled; the youthful tendencies that reside within us still make their way into our daily lives. From choosing to stay up until 3:00 a.m. playing video games on a school night to going out in 30 degree weather without a coat, we still make decisions that our parents and grandparents would shake their heads at in disappointment. So why are we expected to know exactly how to be a wise, professional, sensible adult? It's not that we're irresponsible (for the most part, anyway). It's that we are young, inexperienced, and still have the sought-after, enthusiastic mentality that we can do and be whatever we want, which has not yet been tarnished by the reality of the world. These are just a few of the unrealistic expectations that society has for young adults.

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2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

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