I have been swimming since I was seven years old. I did it because I liked it and I liked my friends on the team. My family never pushed me to do something I didn’t want, I continued to improve in swimming until I got tired. If you’ve played sport for a while you know what I mean. I was burnt out. So I took a break and tried a different sport.

After short detour and an injury, I decided swimming was the sport for me. My comeback was not glamorous. I was ok, but I worked hard and never gave up. I never placed in the top 8 at states individually. I never made the Olympic trials cut. I was barely good enough to make a travel team to go to Florida for a week. But I never gave up even through disappointments, injuries and many tired hours at practice.

I was pretty much set on going and swimming at a small, division three school. My best times going into college would already have three of their team records. That made me feel great, and that’s why I wanted to go there, because I felt wanted. The other schools I would be a little fish in a big pond, and that did not appeal to me. I wanted to shine, I wanted to be a winner, and I wanted to be respected.

Thank goodness I did not choose what school to go to based off of being the best. I decided to go to the school where I would not be that great. It was division one, which was cool, but I was nervous. I wasn’t necessarily a recruit. I think the coaches weren’t sure what to expect out of me and neither did I!

I got to school and met the team. They were all so amazing and talented and there I was. I started school and practices and I was having a great time! I loved my coaches and my teammates. I was learning so much about the sport and about myself. I wasn’t great. I was lucky I even got to travel. Thanks to our small team size, I was lucky enough to be able to travel with the team. I pushed myself because I wanted to and because my coaches saw something in me that I did not see in myself. We got to the end of the season and at conference and I was told that I wouldn’t be on the scoring team. It hurt, but I understood. I continued on with my meet just like any other meet. Surprisingly I killed it. I dropped time in all events and even won my heat in one of my races! My coaches were thrilled. And I think they were a little awestruck as well. I was over the moon and beyond motivated to continue my success.

Sophomore year nothing really changed. I was still not that good. Luckily for me, my coaches never gave up on me. “Emily you are just a taper swimmer,” they said. So I kept working hard in practice. I was discouraged but I still wanted to be on the team. Then it came to our midseason taper meet. I did well! So again, I returned back to school motivated again to kick butt at conference. It was not all smooth sailing. I did get injured, but I did what I could do and that’s all my coaches wanted from me. I made it to conference relatively nervous. Coming off an injury into a big meet is not what you want to do. But I did what I was used to, and I just swam like I had since I was seven. Luckily enough, I dropped more time. I was proud because I knew I had pushed through adversity, making my coaches and my family proud. That’s what really mattered to me. I wasn’t on the podium and I had scored few points the whole season but they were still proud.

Fast forward to my junior year. I knew I was lucky, I had managed to overcome many injuries and obstacles in the way of my swimming career. Knowing I was going into this season with myself in mind, I trained out of my mind. But sadly, the season did not go how my team and I had been hoping. The team was down and so was I. I kept thinking, “wait until that taper meet, you just need to rest.” So I waited and the meet came. I was excited. But that’s when injury struck again. I didn’t swim the rest of the meet, and my positive attitude began to wane. What if I already gone as fast as I would go in my career? I returned to training with caution. I was afraid to swim my favorite race. My mental game was not there. I had an average meet. Was I mad? Not necessarily. I knew I had overcome more this year than all other years and I was beyond proud that I had made it. The team may not have done great, but we finished.

Heading into my last season is scary. This is the culmination of my 14 years of swimming. As I sit here writing this, I am still sore from getting back into shape. I took the most time I had taken off since I began college swimming. I needed a break from myself and I needed to find why I loved the sport again. By taking that time off and trying new things, I found myself thinking about swimming. I was thinking about my teammates, my coaches, all my friends who used to swim with me and all the little kids I used to coach. I also thought about how swimming on the team had pushed me out of my comfort zone, given me opportunities to travel and blessed me with the most amazing group of friends.

I now feel the love for the sport slowly coming back. Put me in coach, I’m ready.