Distant Friendship Optimization | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Friendships

Distant Friendship Optimization 101

What does distance do to friendships? Is some distance from your oldest friends actually better for your friendships?

68
Distant Friendship Optimization 101
Personal Photo

In This Article:

I am going to assume, for the sake of argument, that you have friends. After all you clicked on this article, about friends (good for you!). Regardless of your stage in life, socioeconomic status, or place of birth, you have friends. But how long will we have those friends?

Some friends you keep close. Divulging your deepest, darkest secrets to, trusting that they will lock these secrets up in whatever vault they keep THEIR deepest darkest secrets in. Some friends are more distant. You keep them informed with your comings and goings and may even tell them about your latest Tinder match (go you!). Even further, we also have those "friends" who we say hello to at the grocery store and engage in casual banter with because we can't seem to remember their names for the fourth time.

All of us have these types of friends and countless more categories of "friendship" that we strategically lump those in our social circles into. This makes sense. It makes sense for us as humans to do this. As highly social animals, we could never keep our whole network as close as we may like. But this is not about any of the aforementioned categories of friends. I am talking about those close friends those who are no longer close geographically.

We all have these friends, working away on their lives in some distant (or not so distant) place. In my case, these are friends from my high school years. In your case, these may be old friends from work, school, the odd romance, or that wild frat you joined in college. These are the friends who you would divulge your deepest darkest secrets to, although you don't often get the chance to.

I recently returned from a trip with a few of these friends (you know who you are). We often have these weekend trips, usually in the same place for roughly the same amount of time. These trips are the kind that makes me feel young again. We stay up later and party harder than we would ever admit to our parents, regardless of age. You have these friends and you have been in this same scenario, probably more than once.

One thing I notice as I've grown older is the changes in these friends. Good and bad alike. During this trip I found myself thinking about how changes in life would affect the friendships which I hold so dearly. After all, people and friendships evolve given time, as all things do. I was left with more questions than I was expecting. How long can any given friendship last? Who will become absent in my life given time?

Where will we be in twenty years?

Truthfully, I have thought about this each and every time we get together, often worrying myself (as I often do) about whether things would be the same next time. After more thought and time spent with these hooligans, I came to a few rough conclusions. Friendships can last for as long as those in it are willing to support it. Friendships don't end because one person stops caring, they end because ALL parties stop caring. The people who will become absent in your life are those who were destined to become absent.

One question remains unanswered. We have absolutely no idea where we will be in twenty years. Some of us will be the heads of major corporations, some will be their employers. Some will go their own way while some will follow the crowd. Some will be single mothers, some will be single fathers. Some will be in perfect health, and some will be dead (it's true). But regardless of the fact that we cannot see into the future, we can see where we are right now. We know where our friendships are and know what we may be doing wrong. So live in the moment, appreciate what you have, stick with the positives and cut out the negatives (friends or otherwise). If you worry a little less about what you cannot control, I can promise it will all turn out just fine.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

27 Things 'The Office' Has Taught Us

"The Office" is a mockumentary based on everyday office life featuring love triangles, silly pranks and everything in between. It can get pretty crazy for just an average day at the office.

914
the office
http://www.ssninsider.com/

When you were little, your parents probably told you television makes your brain rot so you wouldn't watch it for twelve straight hours. However, I feel we can learn some pretty valuable stuff from television shows. "The Office," while a comedy, has some pretty teachable moments thrown in there. You may not know how to react in a situation where a co-worker does something crazy (like put your office supplies in jello) but thanks to "The Office," now you'll have an idea how to behave ifsomething like that should happen.

Here are just a few of the things that religious Office watchers can expect to learn.

Keep Reading...Show less
Grey's Anatomy
TV Guide

Being pre-med is quite a journey. It’s not easy juggling school work, extracurricular activities, volunteering, shadowing, research, and MCAT prep all at the same time. Ever heard of “pain is temporary, but GPA is forever?” Pre-meds don’t just embody that motto; we live and breathe it. Here are 10 symptoms you’re down with the pre-med student syndrome.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

High School And College Sucked All Of The Fun Out Of Reading

Books were always about understanding for me, about learning the way someone else sees, about connection.

442
High School And College Sucked All Of The Fun Out Of Reading

I keep making this joke whenever the idea of books is brought up: "God, I wish I knew how to read." It runs parallel to another stupid phrase, as I watch my friends struggle through their calculus classes late at night in our floor lounge: "I hope this is the year that I learn to count." They're both truly idiotic expressions, but, when I consider the former, I sometimes wonder if there's some truth to it.

Keep Reading...Show less
school of business
CIS Markets

Coming from someone majoring in business at a school that thrives off of business majors, I know how rough it can be sometimes. Being a business major can be awesome, and awful, simultaneously. We work our tails off to be the best, but sometimes the stress can just tear you apart. Here are some struggles faced by business majors that will sound all too familiar.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Things To Know About The First Semester Of College

10 things that most incoming college freshmen have no idea about.

1710
campus
Pexels

Starting college is pretty scary and fun at the same time. You are free of your parents(in most cases) but this is the first time you have no idea what the heck is going on. Here are 10 things you may want to know going into your first semester.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments