Here is a little backstory. My junior year of high school, I dated this guy. Being with him was an adventure and made time fly and. We dated for ten months, then went through a rough breakup. But, on the bright side, we found our way back to each other eight months later. We got back together with a little in the summer before we both went to college. When people say that college is a big transition, those people are not telling a fib, especially when you are about to take on one of the most fearful things that couples do: date long distance. However, my boyfriend and I made the distance feel like it is worth everything. We have recently finished our first year of college while dating 263 miles apart.
1. Trust
Trust should be valued. Without it, I believe that long distance will NEVER work. With that being said, it is important to know that you and your significant other will be making new friends throughout college. If you have a boyfriend, you should trust him with everything you've got if he is friends with other girls and vice versa if you have a girlfriend. This is a time where you really should not think that your significant is lying to you and that he/she is doing something that you do not approve of. If I am being perfectly honest with you, if the one you are dating wants to be with you, even with the distance, they really are not doing anything to jeopardize the relationship and bond you have together. Why would they be with you if they were?
2. Get creative
So, you are dating long distance. The only way you can communicate with the one you love most is through the phone. You can be SIMPLE and text and call each other during the time apart, or you can get CREATIVE. One thing that I did was send letters to my boyfriend. I know, call it old school love. But, that is what my relationship feels like, an old school love. Sending a letter to my boy was a way for me to communicate with him while using my vintage side.
You can still be creative if you are not the type to send letters! Care packages and other fun gifts to send to each other always send some love along. This is where the phrase, "it's the thought that counts" comes into the works. When making a care package, bring in that creativity. Think about what your significant other likes. For example, my boyfriend is a baseball player, so when I decide to send him a little something, I CREATE a theme of baseball by including sunflower seeds, energy drinks, baseball apparel, and other items that would make him feel like an all-star. On that note, if you're dating someone who does not have any hobbies, you can theme your care package by their favorite color, favorite team sports, or simply by their personality and how you know them.
Keep in mind that in college, it is hard to find the time to put together a care package or to sit down and find the time to write out a letter. It is college — money is harder to manage. Nonetheless, this does not cancel out the chance to be creative. One thing that my boyfriend and I loved to do on some nights was to have dinner together. Well, have dinner together on Facetime. At these moments, it felt as if we were right next to each other on a date. We also loved to start shows together. We would watch a new episode of a new show and talk about that episode after, over a phone call.
3. Try not to blow up each other's phones
I know that it is a hard process. I find it very hard when I would hang out with my friends who are dating and have their significant other with them during college. It made me struggle to not want to drive myself up to where my boyfriend was at for college. But, the most important concept to keep in mind is that long distance is temporary and that if you find your relationship to be worth it, then it is SIMPLY worth the distance and each and every mile. But, it is also crucial to remember that you are in college! This is your time to grow and have a GREAT experience. With that being said, it is good to let each other not be suffocated with endless incoming calls and texts. You both are individually growing, yet are growing together as well.
By limiting communication with my boyfriend, I have definitely learned a lot. Every time I saw him, it made for a better conversation. We both had so much to tell each other and being in person instead of over the phone made it 100 times better. The limit also made us miss each other like crazy, which only made seeing each other so exciting and the wait more worth it than it was before.
A long distance relationship can be hard, but it does not have to be. Long distance will either make or break you and your relationship, and the only way to control the process is to accept the distance and learn how to LIVE with it. It may sound cheesy and dumb, but one thing that kept me going throughout each day apart from my boy way knowing that he sees the same sun and the same stars. Through my eyes, long distance makes your relationship very wonderstruck. It takes all your fears that you have and make them into you becoming more daring.
