The Disease To Please Is Irrational
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Disease To Please Is Irrational

Either you know a people pleaser, or you are one yourself. Either way, take a step back to think of all the reasons in which what you're doing is unhealthy. Here's some reasons in which people pleasing doesn't work, and why it usually hurts.

37
The Disease To Please Is Irrational
The Optimist Blog

I, like most people, enjoy making people happy. However, making myself happy is my priority. For this, I have had people call me selfish. However, living my life without the intention of making other people happy is the reason I am happy.

Either you know a people pleaser, or you are one yourself. Either way, take a step back to think of all the reasons in which what you're doing is unhealthy. Here's some reasons in which people pleasing doesn't work, and why it usually hurts.

A people pleaser will never be able to satisfy someone

It's interesting to me that people think they can actually make someone else 100% happy- when we all know that's not the case. No matter how hard you try, you cannot control someone else's emotions. We are designed to want *more* and wanting more means that whatever you do for someone may not be enough.

A people pleaser expects to be pleased

When you do something for someone, you expect them to do the same thing for you. When you think about how irrational that is, you can possibly see the ways in which you're investing time and energy into something that is not definite. Life is not tit-for-tat, and I did not sign an agreement stating that you doing x for me means that I will do x for you. So- is it my fault for not giving you what you want? Or, is it your fault for expecting me to give you something I do not want to, just because you did it for me? Both faults aside, this belief is irrational.

In people pleasing, no one is happy

The people pleaser isn't happy, because they can't please another person. The victim isn't happy, because they feel guilty in what should be a mutually beneficial relationship.

A people pleaser avoids confrontation

Do I want to wake up and go punch someone in the face? No. But, I also do not want to sit with unexpressed emotions. When I have a problem with someone, I tell them. Of course, a people pleaser would not want to do so, in which makes their relationship extremely uncomfortable. There is no way to resolve problems that you can't admit exist.

A people pleaser is not a person

When you spend so much time caring about what other people think, you lose yourself in those thoughts. You are number one on your to-do list. You are your number one priority. If you actually want to help other people, you have to help yourself first.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71205
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

133229
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments