There are billions upon billions of words in the English language. Some of them are beautiful words while others take on more vulgar connotations. Of all of the words, vulgar ones included, only one of them makes my blood boil. The word I'm talking about: "retard(ed)."
You use this word as an insult. You use it when you think someone is being stupid or saying something stupid, whatever. To you it's just an innocent word with absolutely no reflection upon those with real mental handicaps that keep them from learning as easily as you do. I think you use this word without realizing what you're saying or how it's hurting those with special needs or those whose loved ones have special needs. Using the R-word as an insult will insult us more than it will ever insult whoever you're trying to insult in the process.
When you call someone the R-word, you're basically saying what you really think about those with special needs. To me, you're calling my older brother who has Down syndrome stupid. You're insulting him for a learning disability that he was born with, something he cannot control. It hurts me to hear you inadvertently call my brother such horrible names even if you're not intentionally meaning it about him. I know you say that you're not talking about people with mental handicaps, but if not them then what are you referring to? If you are meaning this word as an insult, then you're insulting those that the word modifies which is more than just the word in its context. You're insulting those with special needs whether you mean to or not and the thing is, there's nothing within them for you to insult.
People with special needs are often the most joyful people you'll ever meet. They possess a childlike nature and always seem to wear a smile. They're people-pleasers and often just want to make those around them happy. This can be a problem as they are very trusting and can often be taken advantage of. If the one problem you have is being too trusting of others, then why is there a need to use the condition as an insult? There is no reason why you should be using the R-word as an insult because there's nothing disgraceful about those with special needs to cause an insult.
Do you think they don't understand what you're saying? Do you think those with real mental handicaps don't grasp the insult that you're using? Actor Eddie Barbanell, most famous for his role in The Ringer (2005), spoke out against the use of the R-word with his co-star and friend Johnny Knoxville (video in the link below). Eddie Barbanell was born with Down syndrome and definitely takes offense to the R-word. He knows it's an insult, so why wouldn't someone else? The word needs to stop, guys. It doesn't make you look cool to use it. If I'm being frank, it makes you look like an ignorant tool who is prejudiced against those who don't have the same capacity for learning as you do. Honesty hurts. But I'm not sorry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfMlrTV_5vY
Think about what you're saying before the words leave your mouth. Think of how it will effect those around you and how much it pains them to hear that word used. Be the change you want to see in the world. Make it a better place and stop using the R-word.