I'm sure that each and every one of us has made a decision in our lives that has caused some sort of disappointment to another person. When putting myself in this scenario, I, like many others, often feel an incredible amount of self-loathing for causing disappointment to others. Sometimes this self-loathing feels so overwhelming that it causes me to back out of a certain situation.
If that's too much vagueness to follow, let me provide an example: sometime in September, I made the decision to cut 13 inches of my hair off, leaving only a few inches left. This decision meant a lot to me. It helped me to acknowledge all the changes going on in my life rather than ignore them as I had tried to do for so long.
Prior to doing this, many people told me I would hate the decision, and that it would take forever to grow out. Another person worried that I would look like a boy. Many speculated why I would make such a decision because my hair was so long and thick. These ideas made me think twice a few times, however, my reply would always be this: "It's just hair, bro."
So, I decided to go through with it.
Upon doing it, I felt amazing! It felt so exhilarating and freeing all at once. While I still received skeptical comments and questions, I did not regret the decision. It meant something to me to be able to make a choice that was so impulsive and 'out-of-character' for me. Had I let others shame me into not making that decision for myself, I would not have been able to experience those amazing feelings. I wouldn't have been able to be proud of a decision that was made all on my own, without the influence of others.
To this day, many people still do not understand why I made the decision to cut my hair off, and I don't expect them to. Some are still disappointed about it, and that bothered me for quite some time. More times than not, we typically aim to please others, so when we don't we beat ourselves up and do whatever we can to make amends.
But what if we don't try to make amends? What if we choose to dare greatly, and commit to so-called "selfish" decisions? Often times these end up being the hardest questions we are faced with, due to the reception of others, but in making these decisions, we also make the very important choice to put ourselves first.
Many times people do not understand our reasoning for various decisions we make, and that's okay. If we force ourselves to live a life that satisfies others, we never feel fulfilled. It's fantastic to be selfless and put others first, but if that means risking our own happiness and well-being, it may not be worth it in the end. It may even cause resentment towards others at some point.
Even though I absolutely despise this phrase, it holds an abundance of truth: time heals everything. It truly does, and this means that people eventually move on from the heartbreak of a haircut. Please choose to move to go to the city you've always wanted to see, change your career, go sky-diving, whatever it may be, as long as you choose YOU. It's time to kiss our dear friend, disappointment, good-bye.
